Cast and Release....It's time to Trust

I am realizing more and more every day, as I watch my boys lives take shape and the lives of their friends who I have watched grow up with them, that my role as mom has truly changed.  Its no longer coming or somewhere off in the distance, its here and now.  Its happening with every breath I take and every tick of second hand on the clock.

Being Mom has been the greatest challenge and the greatest gift of my life.  It is the accomplishment I am most proud of.  There are no rules or guidelines, no templates, or standard operating procedures for being a parent. We each have our own ideas, our own paths, and though we share our successes and failures with each other, no two children are alike and and each experience is unique.

I have been mom (and for the last ten years dad) on a daily basis for 22 years. It is ingrained into to core of my being at this point. Even as they set out on their paths, creating their own lives and families, I will remain mom as long as I exist.

My sons make me laugh with all their boy humor. They exasperate me at times, again with all their boy humor, but also with their independence and strong will. They have challenged me with their intelligence and need to be heard. But they have loved me, and supported me, and made me proud. They have the courage to stand for what they believe in and to make the tough decisions that set them apart from the crowd when necessary.  They follow their hearts, but they also follow their instincts and their ethics.  They know right from wrong and they embrace it.  They reach for the stars and the moon and the whole damn universe, and they push themselves to the utmost. They have their lazy moments, but they have those times when energy and determination is limitless.

Being a parent is never easy, its blood, sweat, and tears ....lots and lots of tears.  Sleepless nights, miles of taxi driving, compromise, and endless love, and worth every nano second.  And they each go by so quickly that once gone, it feels as if it was merely a blink.

I have made many mistakes in my life, learned many lessons, started and stopped and restarted again, but the one thing I know I got right, was being a mom. No doubt about it.