Cards Against Humanity...Irreverant but Funny

Apple to Apples it isn't......it's similar.....but if you are expecting a PG rated evening of silly answers and mildly provocative topics.......this is not your game. 

Cards against Humanity is the 20 something generations version of Apples to Apples on Steroids and a fifth of vodka with a xanax and a 151 shooter.

It is irreverent and crosses the censorship ratings of what today could be considered M/A for mature audiences only. However, most of those playing may not necessarily be considered or meet the definition of "mature" during gameplay.

Cards against humanity is a topical card game which allows the players to delve into their dark side and complete the phrases with the cynical and sometimes depraved answers they would never dare to speak aloud in normal conversation.  And yet, at a table filled with diverse players and friends from all walks, no offenses are taken. Laughter  roars and the game rolls on.

I admit I was at first shocked at the nature of the questions and answers. But after a short period of observation, I too began to laugh.  I know....I know.....Most of those from my generation simply would NEVER understand......but I did. Maybe its having children at a a later age and understanding the generation. But, I even found myself willing to join in. 

Its not for the sensitive or easily offended.  It can be dark, racist, sexually explicit, and irreverent in a million and one ways....but....if you take it with a grain of salt and realize it is meant to be humorous like a raunchy comedic act, it can be just as fun as all the other games in your arsenal.

Caution...this is an adults only game. It is not a family friendly game for all ages.  Not recommended for children under the age of 18 (they should not even be in listening distance). But if you want to spice things up and shake off the boredom....this will do it.

Picken, Picken, and more Picken.....

Everywhere I turn this week someone is picking. Nose pickers at every stop and every turn.  There are the pickers who flick it , the pickers who carefully inspect it, and the pickers who wipe it on their britches. There are the pickers who ever so slyly eat it, that's right...Eat it, and the dainty ones who pick it from beneath their nails and eventually wipe it on a tissue, which...by the way..should have been used to begin with. They are at stop lights, on the freeway, in crosswalks, grocery store checkout lines. Even in their office cubicles.  Pickers!

Pickers of Seats.  No not picking a seat to sit in...the other kind,  picking their pants and undies and whatever else ails them out of their butt cracks. They are picking, pulling and tugging. Subtly and not so subtly lifting their skirts and dresses to free the wedgie, or stuffing their sausage fingers down their greased stained jeans to itch and pick the not so comfortable behind. Could it be an atomic wedgie, a poorly fitted thong, a remnant piece of toilet paper? Whatever the cause, take it into the stall people. There is nothing subtle about picking your ass in public.

And of course...we can never overlook the ever wonderful and oh so appetizing scab pickers.  Sit on a Max line for more than 5 minutes and your bound to see one.  Someone picking at their scabs. Scratching, peeling, pick..pick...Pick. Aha, got it, and now the ooze and blood.  They either flick the scab, like the afore mentioned booger picker, or they eat it. And as for the blood, well much akin to a vampire, most chose to lick the blood or suck on  the wound until it stops.  Ever so appealing and appetizing to observe. Scab pickers are fascinating because, unlike other pickers, they will share how "gnarly" that was with their friends and those around them. Subtlety is not a requirement.

I think I might have discovered a new diet craze.  Its called the Picker Diet. Look for pickers in their various forms and observe them in their native habitats and.....**poof**....instant weight loss. Loss of appetite is guaranteed. Side effects may include vomiting, queasiness, and nightmares.

One Mile At a Time

When I suddenly and without warning found myself critically ill last fall, my life changed forever. In many ways life became more than I ever expected but so did my limitations. Life became bigger and brighter, fuller and more challenging, but darker and smaller and more confining and in the same moment. A battle of contradictions and the need for me to learn to find my walls and know when I hit them and when to climb over them or just sit this one out.

For a while,as critical recovery took place, the concept of ALL travel had vanished from from future.  But as I get better, as I build my new norms and learn to construct my new road map, I get to establish my own idea of limitations.

I am only limited by that which I allow myself to be constrained.  All limitations have solutions and boundaries which can be surmounted with enough effort and forethought.

Stress is a big conveyor of blood disorders.  It causes high blood pressure for those prone to it, it causes heart issues, headaches, depression, digestive and sleep issues. Stress is clearly something to avoid. So step #1 when planning a vacation or trip......choose something you will enjoy, something relaxing and that you look forward to.  If the idea of your trip causes you great anxiety and the destination brings with it a feeling of dread, then its not a vacation.  Don't do it.  Step #2 ...Plan, but don't plan. Have a plan in place, but be flexible. Be willing to adjust.  You don't have to have all your hotels booked ahead of time (This is so hard for the OCD personality like mine).  Your ultimate destination hotel is wise, but the little stops along the way can change, so wait.  Sometimes you can get really great deals on short notice.  There will always be a room to be found. And you never know exactly where your journey might take you. Have a little faith. Step #3...take your time.  Stop frequently, stretch, relax, take detours, and just breath. Enjoy the journey (thus the reason for #2).  For me, road trips, especially to areas of high elevation can be dangerous to my ongoing health.  Therefore frequent stops, lots of water, and movement are critical. But after this trip, I think that practice should be the norm for everyone.  It makes the journey so much better. Cramming a 12 hour drive into a single move with only gas and restroom breaks is torture on everyone.  Take the time to relax, stop every 2-3 hours and really stretch, relax, and appreciate where you are (15-30 minutes minimum). Stop if you need to stop. Drive if you want to drive. And get a good solid nights rest each and every day.

I believed the idea of a road trip was forever out of my reach, but with the proper planning and time frame, we made it work. And it was AWESOME! There was no stress, no pressure, no dread, just time and appreciation and marvel.  We drove one mile at a time, and it was the best journey I've ever taken. The American Road trip can be a dream if done the right way. From Portland to Yellowstone and back in 7 days.  It ain't bad.

I'm Just a Simple Girl

I'm just a simple girl. I like things simple and clean. I'm not big on clutter and over indulgence. KISS.....is more my style....Keep It Simple Silly.

I can be powerfully independent if need be, but I like having a man to fix things for me. It's not that I can't fix them myself, but it's nice having someone to take the burden for me. I don't like bugs or anything creepy crawly.  I can go soldier brutal on their tiny little army all on my own, but if I can step back and let someone else take the creep factor out of my day......I'm not above playing the girl card.

I don't like slimy, greasy, or smelly things.  I prefer not to partake in hard manual labor. I'm not opposed to heavy lifting or cleaning, within ladylike limits (10-15 lbs.)  I am more of an organizer and detail girl not the nitty gritty down in the grind guy.

I like wearing sandals and fashion boots and pretty dresses. I wear delicate scents, clean and fresh. The skin on my knees and hands are delicate and thats because I dont get down on the ground and wear callouses on them.

It's a matter of choice. Am I capable of doing some of the things I ask of my man? Well.......of course I am. I am an intelligent grown woman perfectly capable of a great number of things and able to resolve any problem I face or encounter.  I am logical yet intuitive, I am creative yet methodical. However....I enjoy being a woman and allowing myself to be cared for. Taking as step back and being feminine and gentle enough to say thank you and please.  Its a fine line but one I walk with grace.  I appreciate having a man who is willing to take on the things I less prefer and cares enough to want to.

I don't like facing that giant spider on the wall, or shoveling the poop out of the yard. But I do enjoy the comfort of relaxing in the spider free room or enjoying the cool summer night while watching the stars in a poop free zone.

The perks of being a simple girl, wearing dresses, being feminine......He gets pretty and sweet, helpful and kind, and I get manicured lawns, spider free corners, and and someone to cuddle with at night.

Glenda - Soul Sister

Today I'm going to write about my dear friend Glenda. I feel compelled to explain why I feel convinced, once again that family is not about blood, it is about heart and soul.

We all know, whatever doctrine we subscribe too, that before we enter this realm we existed in a spirit realm waiting to be born.  That's where we all take a different fork in the road. I believe we communed with our friends and we were family bound by love and kindness. We were genuine and selfless and we awaited our turns for a vessel in which we would pass through this realm, a blink in time on our learning path through eternal time. One existence informing another.

Part of our challenge here, is that many of the friends we called family in that spirit realm are waiting for us to find them as they to are trying to find us. Its like going to the DMV and taking a number ticket from the machine and waiting in line. Sometimes you might end up at the same ticket window (or in the same family if the vessel is available), but more often that not, you end up somewhere else and the journey begins to find your way back.  Passing through mortality is not like signing up for match dot com where they found the siblings that had the most interests and traits in common with you and were the perfect fit, it was luck of the draw. 99% of us find we have little in common with our birth families besides a small amount of genetic material.  It's true, most of us grow up then grow apart and go our separate ways.

Family is where are heart takes us. Our souls are like divining rods continually pulling us towards something or someone. A compass to guide us home. We often feel obligated to fulfill the neo-traditional familial roles. To try to maintain those links and those bonds even when they don't feel natural. But there is no shame in the realization that the real bond lies elsewhere.  You can appreciate where you've been and the people who were a part of that, but at the same time, its OK to admit that your joy is found more fully somewhere else. Sometimes life begins by letting go. Changing your expectations of yourself and others and simply following your heart. It may lead to family, it may lead to friends, but it will always lead soul to soul.

Glenda is like a big sister to me. She has wisdom and kindness I cherish, and yet she values my wisdom as well. We are equals and yet we are both individuals with lives fully lived and experiences to guide us. Glenda is one stop on my way,... a  point on my compass which tells me I'm heading the right direction. I'm gathering my spirit family one by one and it grows all the time. She is an important part of it.  I know this for certain.... I count her amongst my most cherished, and my search never ends. My heart is always open.