Crunchy Leaves, and Warm Cider

This is the beginning of my favorite time of year as the leaves turn the tree lined streets, fields and pastures into painted postcard wonders.  They are always the same and never alike. The oranges and greens contrasting against each other with hues of violet  and auburn and burnt sienna.  The effects are stunning and the air becomes crisp and cool.  Not quite cold yet but no longer warm with summers heat.

Fall brings out the sweaters and boots, blankets for cozzying up on the couch, the yard work as we prepare for the approaching winter months, and wood piles as I get the fireplace ready for evening fires to warm the house and set a little ambiance. I love a little firelight.

Fall also brings time for reflection.  A time to reflect on the past year as thanksgiving approaches and to think about what I have to be thankful for this year.  It's been a year of healing for me medically, and adjusting to my new limitations while pushing my new boundaries and testing my new limits to see just how much I can do.  Lets face it, I've never been very good at being told what I can't do, so I push the boundaries a lot. :)

I've made some hard choices regarding relationships that were toxic to my recovery and well being, and have conversely happily taken some recent steps in healing others that I look forward to exploring once again.

I don't believe in pretense or putting off the false impression that life is peachy with all of my siblings and family, but I figure 4 out of 6 ain't bad.  Those are numbers I can work with and feel good about. We each live our lives, and have our paths, and I keep mine as honest and open as I can.  To those who are a part of my world, I love and appreciate their presence and the strength I gain simply from knowing they are there. The power I draw from them combined  with that of my friends, is immense, and life sustaining in ways that are immeasurable.  It creates a buoyant positive force that lifts me each day and makes me smile.

My sons and Jeff are the final seal and hard shell on my packaging for life.  They are the inner and outer core of who and why I am. They give me purpose and need and that constant daily love, minute by minute, as the second hand ticks, that reminds me why I breath and to take the next breath. The last year would not have happened without them , and the years to come will rely on them as well.

So I guess you could look at it like a giant peanut M&M = hard shell (The boys and Jeff) + Cushion of chocolate (friends and family) + Peanut Core (The boys and Jeff).  The candy isn't complete without any of the parts. 

Now, I'm gonna go make a cup of warm apple cider, find a tree to watch as the leaves begin to turn, and eat a bag of peanut M&M's.