Fairytale Creature Master Counsel.....

Dear Santa, Tooth-fairy, St. Patrick, Easter Bunny, Sand Man, Mother Nature, Father Time, Jack Frost, and all others who may or may not actually exist and may or may not sit on the Fairy Tale Creature Master Counsel, I have a few complaints to issue with you and hope that you can resolve them quickly.

First up...Santa.  I did my part. I believed in you, I kept the spirit of 'Santa' alive. I taught my sons about you. I still make them go to bed before you arrive to fill their stockings.  So why am I doing all the damn work.  Show up dude.  A little gratitude would be great.  Throw a girl a bone.  I've been doing this a long time, and unlike you, I actually age.  I can't always do it all alone.  Every once in a while finding something under the tree or in the stockings I didn't buy myself would be a great boost.  It would let me know your watching and your pleased with all my hard work. Your welcome by the way.

Tooth-fairy - what is with inflation?  Keep it simple.  Don't let these entitled kids get greedy on you or they'll cut into my social security senior citizen tooth loss fund.  I've been waiting a long time to cash in. Don't give it all away before I get the chance to enjoy my soft food and denture years.  It could be a few decades still, my teeth are pretty healthy and I'm counting on you.

St. Patrick - Where is my pot of gold? I'd even settle for silver.  I've seen literally hundreds of rainbows and never found it.  Is it just another cruel prank by the gingers?  At the very least give me the luck I'm supposed to get with a four leaf clover and help me win a pot of gold at the next casino I go to or something.  I go out of my way to celebrate you every year and I'm not even Irish. Are you offended at our interpretation of you as a leprechaun? Tell me what to do to make this right so I can get my pot-o-gold.  Call me...K?

Easter Bunny - Its been decades since I had an Easter Basket, but a golden egg with a nice cash bonus for each of the boys in their baskets, I can get behind that one.  See I can be selfless. I'll leave and extra bundle of carrots for you, organic this year.

As for the rest of you; Mother Nature - good weather please; Father Time - slow it down just a bit; Sand Man - some solid sleep is always a good gift; and Jack Frost - what the hell happened to our Northwest winter 2014/15. Next year you'd better do your job or we might have to fire you.

Enough said.  I know being at the same job day in and day out year after year can sometimes cause apathy. If things don't improve we might try some job sharing strategies. Cross training and swapping of roles might be just what each of you need to sharpen your senses and rejuvenate your enthusiasm. Santa might look good in the tooth fairy costume?

Last warning.