I have spent the greatest part of my life, banging my fist against concrete walls fighting this battle. Too many wounds from childhood and early adulthood left me with deep rooted scars that made it difficult to believe in myself. How do you love yourself, when you see yourself as unlovable. An uphill battle for certain. But this year has been all about uphill battles and overcoming them.
I can climb hills now, and even though I am out of breath when I am through, I have a feeling of victory and accomplishment when I succeed.
Learning to love myself is no different. I have learned to accept my limitations, my flaws, and my eccentricities and to elevate them to positives. I am so lucky for the life I have, for the love of my sons and my friends. I have so much to be thankful for, and I love being me. Its not easy. I am a challenge. I am stubborn and opinionated. I am both independent but conversely need affirmation of my value. I am complex and difficult, but I am also fiercely loyal, loving, kind, and generous. I am silly and funny and ridiculously goofy at times.
For years, the idea of having my picture taken was frightening. The idea of seeing myself the way others see me, was terrifying. But no more......My face book profile, once littered with landscapes and wildlife, now has my face. Its not always polished and perfect, but its me, and I'm happy and I'm smiling.
I've learned to love myself, despite all the self doubt I once drowned in, and I love deeper, better, & stronger for it.
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