Whats Next............Growing Up.....Letting Go.....

18 Years ago today at 1:20 in the afternoon I gave birth to my youngest son.  Today he becomes an adult according to the calendar, and I have completed the first part of my job as his mom.

From the very start Wyatt gripped my heart, just as his brother before him, and he has had it ever since. Nothing has ever challenged me more, made me feel more complete, exasperated me, but inspired me at the same time. Motherhood is full of moments so high you feel like you will never touch the ground again and others sometimes so low they bring you to your knees.

You celebrate your child's triumphs and you feel their pain and suffering as if it were your own, and you realize undoubtedly what unconditional unlimited love truly is.

You understand your task, more deeply than any other, because it is personal and it is an oath between you and God in whatever form that may mean to you.  You take a vow to commit yourself to this life, to love, to nurture, to teach, to guide, to forgive, and to let go. It is the most difficult role of humanity, and you do with honor and pride and joy, because you know it is worth every second you will experience.

Today Wyatt turns 18, and for him that means something magnificent. To him it is freedom and independence. To me, it is the culmination of hard work and devotion.  I know better than he does, that his freedom and independence are not going to happen instantaneously. That they will come gradually in pieces and in time as he builds the stepping stones to them. He now has the rights, but not the functional tools  and funding. It will happen, but he will need to focus on one element at a time and work towards his goals. 

Both of my boys have learned well the lessons of right and wrong, moral and immoral, ethical and unethical, and they draw lines in the sand every day in the choices they make and the people they surround themselves with.  They make solid choices and I am very proud of who they are.  I have equipped them well with a solid foundation on which to build their masterful mansions. Now they will become the masons and build their homes brick by brick on the foundation they have been given.

I trust  and have great faith that they will both do well. Being a mom is more than bottles and diapers. It's not about the cuddles and coos, it's about loving your child through the quiet nights and the crazy ones, taking the adoration and the terrible tantrums. Its knowing that the teenage angst is not about you, its about growing up, and that's o.k.. It's about never giving up, and staying the course even when its tough.

The years fly by too fast. It seems just yesterday one minute and a lifetime ago the next.

Today my youngest turns 18 and I officially no longer have children in my home. Its a strange feeling, but maybe freedom goes both ways, if I can learn to embrace it.