New Age Parenting....Different Isn't Always Better...It's just Different

Parenting is tough.  It is full of trial and error and no matter what they say, no book, no "expert", no one has all the answers. Every child is unique and every parent child dynamic is it;s own. Let me just start by iterating, Strongly, that I don't  discount the idea of new methods and information. There are some really great things happening with today's parents that didn't occur when I was raising my sons.

Right now it is all the rage to teach your infant sign language before they can even speak.  Brilliant. It provides a way of communication before their pallets are able to accommodate the full range of sounds and speech patterns necessary to express their needs. I love this idea.

Here is where I differ.....parenting is tough, it's true, but part of parenting means guidance and discipline, setting boundaries. And those start early, almost from day one. Its o.k. to use the word NO with a our children. It won't hurt them or their psyche. It teaches boundaries. Will they eventually say it back to us. Absolutely. I'd  be concerned if they didn't. Its part of learning and growing and testing their own limits and exerting their independence as they grow. But as a parent you maintain control and reinforce the parent child dynamic.

Children can be raised with firm limits and rules that don't include violence and emotional abuse. You can teach a child boundaries and good behavior through consistent reinforcement and a system of consequences for behavior both positive and negative.

Children who are never told NO grow up feeling entitled. They have no respect for limitations and rules in society or for the feeling of those around them. They say what they want when they want, devil may care. Parenting is tough, sometimes it risks the anger of our children directed at us, sometimes they are not going to like us, or think we are cool, but when we are finished with our job, and they are ready for the world, they will know.....We loved them. That we did the best we could and that we prepared them for the real world.  They will thank us for being tough and courageous enough to say NO.

Parenting is never easy, it wasn't meant to be. It  takes blood sweat and tears. Lots and lots of tears. But it takes love and patience too. And in the end it is the greatest reward we have. 

Parents today seem to always be looking for different ways of doing things that have been done well for centuries. With every generation there is a new idea for something different to be done, but different isn't always better....sometimes different is just that....different.