Silly Childhood Lessons...We Still Live By

We all grew up with rules and etiquette's seared into our brains and conditioned into our actions and behaviors so deeply that to extract them would be like removing a vital organ.

As logical thinking adults we can observe and reflect on some of these rules and traditions and realize the absurdity in them, the flaws in the very premise of their purpose, and yet......we foster them further and pay them forward, nurturing another generation to carry them onward.  Some of the inane can be broken with us, and some leaps ahead despite our best effort not to propagate the insanity of our parents and their parents before them. But some rules are made to be broken, and some are not.  What if.....what if....what if there is the slightest chance that some truth and basis can be found for that construct that really is important.  Is it worth the risk, just to prove I'm right, better not chance it....hide the thumbs.

So the thumbs you ask....well I heard about a girl whose gigi (grandmother) told her to hide her thumbs if she ever passed by a Hearst or they would fall off...to this day as a grown woman,  whenever the funeral procession goes by and Hearst approaches she instinctively tucks her thumbs inside her palms and holds tightly until it has passed. There is also the belief that one should hold their breath while passing a cemetery to prevent unsettled and evil spirits from sucking your soul and possessing your body. Absurd, but what if.....

Don't swim for an hour after you eat or you might die....REALLY? There is absolutely NO medical proof of this to be found anywhere. Toss it out as complete malarkey. Clean your plate, there are children in china who are starving. Again, where is the logic in this? How is a child in America stuffing their belly going to help or hurt a child somewhere else in the world struggling from hunger? If your child can't clean their plate, give them smaller portions. If your worried about waste, make smaller yields. If your worried about world hunger, donate to a charity. But force feeding a your own child only exacerbates issues related to eating disorders including: obesity, body dismorphia, anorexia, bulimia, and long term mental and physical health issues that can result from the primary eating disorder itself. The results can be lifelong and catastrophic.

Don't make that face it will freeze that way, UNLIKELY! Lice, bugs, and rodents are only found in dirty, unclean peoples homes....UNTRUE!  Money makes the world go around, the more you have the happier you will be.....I've seen the wealthiest of people who are more miserable that the poorest I have ever known. Happiness is a choice that comes from within. 

Blood is thicker that water, family is all you have in the end......I disagree...Blood is just blood, it flows just like water. In the end, you have those who care for you most, who have been loyal to you and you to them, family is what you make of it, who you chose it to be. It is not genetics and DNA, it is heart and soul and connection. Our souls find each other despite what bellies we came from, and family is as it was in the beginning before we entered this mortal test we call humanity. The truth is we were all family before the veil and will be again after we finish our paths here.

Don't look at the sun, it will blind you...Well I can still see. :)  Don't watch, read, or listen to profane or unclean content or subject matter, it will corrupt you....I think I'm still towing a pretty ethical and moral line.  You need to go to church weekly to ask forgiveness for your sins....I think I'll be o.k. without the manmade building and business of organized religion with its hypocrisy telling me the difference between right and wrong. I will spend my time enjoy the world and nature around me, appreciate the beauty and wonderment of all creation and atoning for my shortcomings through acknowledgment and the endeavor not to repeat my mistakes.  I am flawed, but I am learning with every misstep I take.

In summary, hide your thumbs if you must, but breath, those who have past are not going to steal your soul. Eat and swim, you won't die. Eat until your full then stop, a little waste isn't going to hurt anyone, compost it if you feel guilty. Your face will not freeze that way, creatures inhabit even the cleanest of homes, money does not buy happiness, family is who you chose it to be, all religion is flawed, follow your heart and your own path. And remember ....Whatever lessons your parents taught you were taught to them by the generation before, many came out of fear and ignorance. Its o.k. to break away.

Champagne Wishes and Cavier Dreams....

In my world they are more like Fiji Water wishes and Xanax induced dreamless sleep dreams. Ahhhh, the perfect end to a chaotic week.  I can even honestly say with the help of my CPAP that I don't even hear the the snelling (Snore Yelling induced by over tiredness and a 24oz superbeer) laying next to me....yanking covers, crumpling covers, twisting covers......Yes, I think I might be sleeping with the Tasmanian Devil.   I make through the night without even realizing Taz has made our bed look like the tornado from Wizard of Oz just ripped through our room in the middle of the night, while I slept right through it. Where are my ruby slippers?

This reminds me of the time I dozed off in the living room chair while watching TV with the boys and I was so tired that during my 20 minute catnap, I was so deep in sleep that although I could feel their presence and hear their laughter I had no idea they  were laughing because they were standing 6 inches from my face yelling fire as I slept on. Those boys..they do like to torture mom. I guess I'm good for laugh every now and then. :)

It's all new to me this sleep thing. I'm like a kid in candy shop. I can't get enough.  It might help if I kept normal hours like a real human being, going to bed before 2 a.m. when I know I have to wake up at 5:30 a.m. and rise and shine...feet firmly planted on the ground... o.k....o.k. at least stumbling ever so carefully up the hallway bracing myself on the walls by 6:00 to be at work by 7. Maybe if I tried to go to bed by midnight those 2 extra hours would make the firmly planted feet more feasible? Nahhhhh, that's just crazy talk.

As for the champagne.....Not a fan....bubbles in my booze give me a headache..I'll take it straight up please. Drink it like you mean it.  If it doesn't burn going down your doing something wrong.  Am I right?   O.k. seriously...I don't drink very much. I have a very low tolerance level and don't like things that taste bad or rancid. I'm a sweet wine girl, red wine gal, or vodka martini with two olives and a twist please.  No tequila, no bourbon, no rum, no whiskey.  When I do drink its conservative, I learned my lesson years ago, barfing booze and spinning rooms are simply not fun. They suck.

So to recap....Revamping Robin Leaches catch Pharase it now states Fiji Water Wishes and Xanax non-Dreams.  That clears things up and makes for a nice evening. Cheers!

Feeling Spicy......

So this week I'm on a roll.  Making changes, trying to focus on the positive side of transition and reminding myself that change is the only constant we can always count on so why not just let go and embrace it.

In honor of that spirit, I have chosen incremental and monumental changes myself. Simple and small, inexpensive, but impactful to my daily emotions and well being.  I started with a daily adoption of practiced meditation. I am not turning seeking any sort of religious guidance or instruction, but simply  a calming peace and force within myself. It's simple really; 10-15 minutes of breathing and inner monologue reminding myself to focus on the influx of positive energy and expelling any negative. I talk myself through  slow movements and stretches  using visualization techniques and continuous purifying breaths.  It's nice really. I've found it to be rejuvenating and strengthening. Some days are longer if I have time and the need, but I haven't missed yet and its been a little more than two weeks consistent.

I colored my hair on Friday.  I had been using cooler tone blacks because they last longer and seem more permanent and able to fight those hairs that like to show my age......I won't spell out the color.
But this time, I went back to my natural highlights, I have auburn highlights natural so I chose a warmer tone color that picked up on the reds and really made them shine.  Some people have told me it makes me look younger.  I think they might be full of bull poopie, but it makes me smile, so I'll take the compliment and tell myself its true.

Yesterday was the biggest change of all, I decided meditation and hair color were all fine and dandy, and they were certainly helpful in setting me on path for change, but what I really needed was something drastic. Something BIG.  So I chopped it. in twenty seconds and to the sound of tearing paper and metal shears, I lost 8-10".....no turning back. It will be good for summer. cooler, easy to manage, lighter, but drastic.  The best part is....I didn't cry.  That's right I chopped off my hair, and I didn't cry.  Its only hair and if I don't like the cut, well it will always grow back....especially my hair. I don't have thin wispy hair like much of my family...., my hair is thick and heavy, naturally curly, with great texture and depth ....or at least that what Judy my hairdresser says. I have no worries of ever going bald or even thinning anytime soon. I actually think I might love this new look, at least for now, until I need another change. 

As it stands, new color, new cut, new attitude = Spicy Young Hip Mom. Well as hip and spicy as I can be and still be me.

Next up a new pedicure, and a soon a vacation.  It's time.  I haven't had a vacation in a few years. :)

This years adventure will be Yellowstone driven in 4 hour increments with frequent stops per doctors orders.  We will make a week of it. Should be fun. Six weeks and counting.

Leaky Eyes....

And there I go again....Another tear trickles down my cheek.  Seems I am feeling a bit emotional this week about the pending changes in my role as mom. I am overwhelmed with feelings of pride and joy at what an amazing young man I have raised, and how lucky I am to have managed to complete the process two fold (The first was 4 years ago).  How remarkable is that?  Not once but twice, I struck gold and had the honor of releasing to the world a young man capable of making great contributions and making a difference.

As I watched Wyatt's final track and field event at yesterdays districts finals, I realized that this was a pinnacle moment in time. and my heart swelled. When I reflect on the years gone by, I see my little boy growing into a young man and I realize his journey is just beginning.  Those starting blocks and that  pistol are symbolic of the path he is stepping onto.  He is poised and focused and now he needs to find where his finish line will be. 

As his mom, I am both proud and challenged by his independence and need to express himself. I know my job is nearly done, and yet I have so much left I want to share. Nuances of communication and temperament that may help soften the road before him.

I watch and read and hear stories, clips, and shows reflecting the parent child dynamic and get all choked up. Some stories evoke a simple smile, others bring a tear, while a minute sampling spark a full on emotional outburst of tears and quiet sobs.  Mom has been a part of my identity for 22 years! It's woven into the  routine and fabric of what I wear and do each day, and in a few weeks, my world changes.   It's a marvelous achievement, but it's the end of a lifetime as well.  A new journey begins, a turning point in the road, and a path I've never known. I'm  tentative in new places and unfamiliar surroundings. It may take me while to adjust to the new routines and rules of the game.

My eyes are a little leaky these days and I'm working to patch the holes, but its nice to know that some of the leaks are happy.

30 YEARS.......Really?

Anyone who knows me, knows that my philosophy in life is about living today and living for tomorrow.  I rarely look to the past, knowing that what's done can never be undone. All we can do is move forward.  Life is all about progression.

This morning I woke to an e-mail in my personal e-mail folder notifying me that my 30 year high school reunion is coming soon. I instantly disregarded it, as per the prior noted philosophical views, but as the day goes on I find myself perplexed realizing that 30 years have nearly passed since I was that High school senior.  My Son is graduating this year.  My youngest son.......and I was in his shoes nearly 30 years ago. How can that be?

There are days that it feels like such a short time ago, and others when it feels like another life entirely.  I know myself...and I know that I won't attend any reunion efforts held for my graduating class, but it does shine a spotlight on the years gone by.

I have no curiosity to fulfill about what people look like, or who married whom, or who became what. I have no bonds to build, or fences to mend with ghosts of my past. Life moves forward in its ever fluid journey and I have no rear view mirror.  I won't allow myself to miss a moment of now because I'm too busy looking back to then. I have everything I need from the past, every lesson learned..stored neatly in my mind, ready to serve when necessary.

I hear too often people say things like "remember when..those days were the best...." .  But for me, the best days are now, and yet to come. If the best is already behind me, then what have I got to look forward to?

Flashback Thursday seems to be a big thing amongst people on social networking sites these days, and nostalgia is nice, but a cautionary tale should be had.....Be forewarned not to get stuck in past, it can be like tar to a dinosaur and trap you....sucking you down until there is nothing left but regret and lost hopes.

30 years is a landmark, but it's not life altering, merely  a reminder that life is always moving on going forward and sweeping us along with the current. Put a your life vest on and ride the wave.

Polar Opposites - A Meltdown

Positive and negative are two opposite ends of polarity. They are polar opposites in the truest sense of the term. And when the negative gets to close to the positive it sparks a heat. On the Earth the North and South poles are far apart and help to keep the planet balanced on its axis.  Sometimes it gets a little wibbly wobbly and we have earthquakes and other crazy acts of nature. Weird weather anomalies, species metamorphosis, migratory behaviors that astound the most educated scholars. But for the most part the act of keeping the Polarity separate works well and protects us all.

At the same time, a 9 volt battery has both a positive and negative charge side by side and the design saves lives every day in billions of smoke detectors across the globe.

Sometimes a little negative and positive interaction brought close is good.

The key is balance.

Like the battery, our emotional well being is dependent on striking a healthy balance between both negative and positive influences, experiences, and reactions, in our lives.  None of us is immune to negativity.  We experience it in various ways and various depths every day. It can be the driver who impatiently tailgates us, the coworker who complains that they are overworked, the irritable spouse, the demanding boss....it can come in any size, from  any direction. Negativity can come from a perfect stranger or your closest confidant, but....it will come. The key is HOW you deal with it.

Do you let the negative charge create a polar meltdown? Does all your positive evaporate and wash away? Or do you strike a balance? 

There are many sayings that essentially imply that you are what and who you surround yourself with. If you selectively chose to surround yourself with an abundance of negative influences, then you will lose site of the positive in your life. This isn't to say you can't influence others who are struggling or having a negative moment.  Empathy and compassion are gifts and powerful weapons against negativity.  They can help break through the negative and help someone find their way through an otherwise difficult time.  But holding steadfast to the good things in your life, remembering always that you are blessed and fortunate is valuable to your emotional, mental, and physical well being.

I have friends who lift me up, and friends who I lift up. There are times we alternately hold each other up when needed.  Everyone has a negative moment. That's life.  But allowing life's negative to become the norm, is a great way to get lost in its' thorns.  I refuse to let a frown or a snipe set the temperature of my day. In my head it is always, blue skies, 70's, sunny, and dry. A perpetual Late Spring full of new life and new beginnings. 

Now now that's the place to be.

Mothers Day Reviews.......

If you are a mother, at any stage of life, Mother's Day is a special day no matter where you are.  But it is unique too. Some Moms celebrate it like a genuine family holiday with a large get together. Some have a quiet and calm day at home of pampering and relaxation.

Some get gifts, some get flowers, some get breakfast in bed, some get a day free from domestic duties and all the meals are prepared for them throughout the day. Rituals vary according to the age and location of the children. Are they still living at home? Have they moved out but still live nearby? Have they moved far away? Do you have a partner who helps you celebrate in the absence of your children, who appreciates all you do as well?

Mother's Day is a day of reflection and a chance to recall the gift and honor of the charge we have accepted by becoming moms. It is the single most complicated role we will ever assume, and equally as rewarding if we allow it to be. You get out of it what you put into it, not monetarily or materialistically, but emotionally and spiritually.

Being a mom is worth every sleepless night, every worried moment, every tear, every skipped heartbeat, held breath, every cold, every flu, every temper tantrum,  & every teachers conference. Because every smile, every giggle, every hug, every time you hear or read the words "I love you" your heart skips another beat and melts and squeezes and your life is full again...ever replenishing...ever hopeful.....ever proud. You have succeeded in raising (or are on your way) independent but smart and motivated children who will stand for what they believe in while at the same time showing empathy and kindness to those less fortunate.

Every Mothers Day for me ends with a tear, buts its always a good tear, as the last gesture of the day is always the perfectly chosen card with the hand written message that speaks to my heart at just the right moment in just the right way.  I spend my entire day at peace, knowing I am loved and appreciated, having been told so, and I end my day with this final gesture and hug that says your are my mom, now and always, and I love you.

I am blessed, and I am lucky.  I have two amazing sons, each who shows me in his own way how much I mean, and I am loved.

Until next Mothers Day.......Adieu

Strength is Beauty

Following Mothers Day I thought it might be appropriate to acknowledge a few simple truths as I have come to know and believe them.  Beauty is not found on the surface of who we are. Rather it is at the very core and inner design of each of us.

Beauty is not about having a luxurious mane of hair. It's not about the flowing locks and curls that smell of lavender and citrus, reflecting the sunset when the light hits just right off the water in the bay. They are lovely, but it's not beauty.

Beauty is not perfect skin and features. Again the perfect nose and lips with just the right pout factor are lovely, set against smooth unblemished skin and long natural eyelashes with eyes that sparkle. But Beauty is so....................much more

The perfect size 6 figure, well manicured hands and feet, all lovely...all speak to high maintenance grooming and wealth and personal investment in ones appearance, but beauty............they are not.

Beauty is about the spirit. The soul. Some of the most beautiful and stunning people I know, both women and men, will never be seen as super models, most won't even be models. But they are the most beautiful people in the world. They inspire, motivate, and represent each and everyday, those traits which we all should strive for.

Beauty is about finding a smile on a day when only frowns feel right. Beauty is about tolerance in the face of pain, and forgiveness when you would rather seek vengeance or restitution. Beauty is the strength to do what's right even when the wrong choice is a thousand times easier. Beauty is knowing who you are and standing proud, never denying your true self for fear of rejection by others. Beauty comes in size 24, size 2, age 18 and age 80. Beauty is about loving with an open heart, without judgement, and with courage. Beauty is full of wisdom.

We are each born beautiful, and we each die beautiful, its the choices we make in between that will decide if we live beautiful lives or just to be lovely. 

I had my lovely years, now I live to be Beautiful.