Respect and Adoration

A dear friend of mine, who I have only known for a short while (less than 2 years), is going through a very difficult time right now.  I have such respect and adoration for this amazing woman and what she has faced in life and it causes me pain to see what she is facing now, but I know in my heart that she is strong and she is courageous and she can face what lies ahead with such tenacity, humility, and fortitude that regardless of the outcome, she will endure.

As she shared her present understanding of her situation with me today, she asked the question with tears in her eyes "Am I just destined to always struggle and deal with pain and loss". Her question was not born out of self pity or weakness, but rather a genuine desire to understand why life seems to give her more difficult challenges than most.

I thought about her question and all the many platitudes you hear people quip came to mind..."Sometimes you have to walk through your nightmares to reach your dreams", "There is no strength without struggle", "God never allows you to go through anything he hasn't given you the strength to face"....and they all sounded hollow.

What could I say to this wonderful and amazing woman to help lift her up in her time of need?  And then I thought of something I heard once, maybe as a  young adult from someone much wiser than I was at the time.

I was in a soup of despair and pain, mired in circumstances it felt were beyond my control or my capacity to endure and someone passing through my life brought it into perspective. Life's struggles are like a grain of sand in an oyster. They grind on us... wearing us down it seems, irritating and tearing the flesh from our emotional being. We ache and we bleed. We cry and we fight. But in the end, when that grain of sand has finished with its work, what is left?  A soft beautiful and powerfully strong pearl. It is unique, like none other. But it is beautiful and precious, and worthy.

Not everyone can become a pearl. Not everyone WILL be given to opportunity to become a pearl. Each of us has our own capacity and path in this life. Some are meant to be great in the next life, they are the ones who face challenges now to help build the strength that  will be required to lead.

My dear friend, is worthy of respect and adoration for all she has faced and for what lies ahead. But it is her courage that will lend strength to those who need it most and maybe that's her purpose. Maybe her calling is one of uplifting those around her who need her at their most vulnerable stages. She is not drawn to the ailing or weak, but rather they are drawn, unbeknownst even to them, to her gift...to her light of perseverance.

In her darkest hour she may see her life as cursed with struggle, but she is actually blessed with the ability to remain steadfast and devoted when all hope pales. She is one in a million and in the end she will be a gleaming pearl to stand the test of eternity.