Research Studies Show.........

Every morning as the alarm begins its familiar pattern of waking me up with a snooze button set at 9 minute intervals, I reach for the remote to turn on the morning news. In this age of economic instability, budget crisis, national debt ceilings, and unemployment, should it be surprising that the government continues to fund studies for research of information which is already logical and known?  Time and again we hear the story as it begins with the familiar...."Recent studies show...", or "Researcher have found....". I shake my head most times and wonder...Really?....Really!...Now there is something new. NOT!

Did you know that more than $3 million dollars was dedicated to a study watching shrimp run on a treadmill. It was all in the name of science they said as they tried to determine the effects of bacteria on mobility and the preservation of crustacean in the seas as the little guys run away from predators. Important?...I guess, maybe if your a shrimp.

An astounding $315,000 was spent researching rather or not playing games like Farmville on Facebook could lead to meaningful and lasting friendships.  O.k....REALLY!?  This is just stupid. Truth is, I'm more likely to UNfriend someone who nags me with game requests than I am to form a lasting bond with them.  The results of the study eventually proved just that, that friendships were not enhanced or fostered by the games. Well, duh?  You could have paid me the $315,000 and I could have told you that without all the wasted time and effort.

Other studies show shocking things like...

• High Heels Can make your feet hurt - conducted on a target pool of 3300 men and women with what....4000 years of history to back it up!...........
• Going Bald can be upsetting - 43% of men polled were concerned about their attractiveness, 37%  worried about getting older, 22% were anxious about the impact it would have on their social life, 21%  were depressed by it and 62% percent believed it could impact their self-esteem....and we spent how much on this study????.....Thanks for the surprising results!.........
• And one of my favorites....Employees Hate Meetings???? Oh my gosh...stop the press...this needs to be a front page story.....The study showed that most employees thought that even if meetings could be informative, they were more likely to be dreadful, unnecessary bore-fests that seem to last a lifetime. And there are too many of them. Interestingly enough, the research proves, a painstaking meeting schedule has the worst effect on the employee who is most dedicated and productive.  They start to feel stress and bogged down. Slackers, on the other hand, love meetings because they get to yack with coworkers, avoid dreaded to-do lists, and basically kill time until 5:00

My point is,  there are thousands, hundreds of thousand of studies being conducted and funded all in the name of research every minute of every day and funded by federal grants/programs/dollars....simply in the end to tell us the most mundane and logical results we already know or simply don't care about.

One week research shows red meat is bad for me, and the next its good. One week drinking wine is good for my heart nad the next its going to kill me.  Research shows dogs bond more closely with their owners than cats (tell that to a cat person..).

If we are going to fund research, lets focus our funds that are useful to mankind.  A cure for cancer, aids, lupus....Ecological footprint reduction and sustainable resources, saving the polar icecaps, or preventing the extinction of a wildlife species endangered because humans are like a global plague infecting every piece of open land on the planet. 

If they really must continue to pay for useless research, I volunteer to be the first stop for every question posed. If I can provide the same conclusion as the eventual study, then I propose that I receive the full funding in my bank account. I like that idea......