Talking to Myself..Someone has to Listen

Driving down the street, alone in my car, I've taken to wearing my blue tooth or having an earbud in at all times. Why? you might ask......well, so that I don't look completely crazy to those who pass me by.  Here's the deal,  I talk to myself....sometimes.....o.k., frequently......alright alright, a lot.  Get off my case already, will ya. It doesn't mean I'm crazy.....Does it?

Truth is, I talk things out in my head so that I can present myself as together and well spoken and my ideas as well thought out before I blurt them.  Sometimes, taking that time, to pause, and talk it through, say it out loud, actually saves me from making a complete fool and total donkey rump of myself. You know what I'm talking about? Surely you must. You know those ideas you get or conversations you have, that make complete sense inside your mind, but in the light of day, they are suddenly flawed, irrevocably and irreparably flawed?

So I think it through, out loud to myself.  I run scenarios, and debates through the machine and find the glitch before I even truly open my mouth, in front of others.  Its my equivalent  of "think before you speak" and avoiding "open mouth..insert foot" syndrome. Its an epidemic that, if people embraced it and walked a little more on my crazy side of things, could be obliterated or at least controlled.

O.k.,  so I don't always use it as a tool.  Here is where the crazy really starts...sometimes...I use it as a way to vent. When something or someone upsets me, I vent it out alone.  I call them to the carpet. We have a come to Jesus meeting and I always triumph. Sometimes I swear, sometimes I yell, sometimes I am just brutally honest, but I ALWAYS, get it out.

Want more crazy...sometimes I talk to myself just because I hate being alone. Its not really myself, not always, I often talk to people who I have loved and lost.  My dad is a really big part of this one.  I talk to him a lot.  The really cool part about this psychosis is that sometimes I actually feel him with me, hear his answers, and know he gets it. Just as he was always there to lift me up in life, he still does even from the other side of the veil.

I talk to myself at my desk, I ask silly questions, and sing silly songs. Sometimes I laugh at silly thoughts as they run through my brain, & sometimes we have marathons of silliness.

Its crazy, I acknowledge it, but its my brand of crazy and it works to keep me sane, keep me grounded, keep me focused, and keep me happy.