Listening

In today's world of cyber social networking, its easy to forget that live interaction still matters.

Words on a screen, no matter how sincere or innocuous, carry with them only the voice and inflections imagined by the reader. Punctuation can help, but if you want genuine feelings and thoughts expressed, sometimes you have to use your voice.

Teachers, meetings, presentations, one on one brainstorms--they can lead to real change. Using your voice to express yourself, is valuable.

But here is the true  key.......The Listener has nearly as big a responsibility as the speaker does! Rather you are conducting business, relaying a brilliant idea, or simply expressing your feelings to a loved one, Listening is just as valuable as speaking. And yet, Google reports four times as many matches for "how to speak" as "how to listen." .  It's clear that people see the ability to speak as a higher priority than that of listening. The fact is the two are symbiotic.  

You can be the greatest speaker in the world but if you fail to listen to the demands and needs of others you are destined to fail. Without receiving the feedback of others, your words have no meaning. Without listening, how do you know what topic to address? Without listening, how do you measure the success of your ability to express yourself through words. Listening is not a passive act, not if you do it right. Listening can become an even greater tool than your voice. Is it any wonder that we were designed with two Ears but only one mouth? Listening is of much greater value!

Listening leads to better speaking, and can become a competitive advantage.....In life, in love, in business.
The hardest step to better listening is the first one: do it on purpose. Make the effort to actually be good at it.
Focus & pay attention. Give the conversation you are a part of, the highest priority. Make it important.
Reward the person who's speaking, with enthusiasm. Enthusiasm shown by the expression on your face, in your posture, in your questions. Show them that you are engaged and what they are saying is being heard. Reaffirm what you hear but in your own words, using your own situation. Don't ask questions as much as make statements, building on what you just heard but making it your own.

If you disagree, wait a few beats, let the thought finish, and then explain why. Don't challenge the speaker, challenge the idea. The best way to honor someone who has said something smart and useful is to say something back that is smart and useful. The other way to honor them is to go do something with what you learned.

Sometimes closing your mouth and opening your ears is the best move you can make. Good listeners get what they deserve--better speakers. Remember your childhood lessons. Your mother tried to teach you that interrupting is rude. So don't. Even if the topic of conversation is one you are familiar with, if you listen, truly listen, you may find a new perspective. Everyone has a unique take and way of expressing their thoughts and ideas. Just because you think you know what is about to be said, doesn't mean you should have the answer pre-formulated in your head.

Even “helpful” interruptions can be perceived as rude. Cutting off a speaker is a big sign that you’re not really listening. So how do you break the bad habit of interrupting? Simply listen. Actively, listen.

We all love to be heard, but when we speak, what we say may be even more valuable if we have listened first.  Give it a try.