Its funny to think about, but oddly enough I've been placed in several situations lately that have made me realize the power and strength of willpower.
Most people think they have it in spades, until it's tested. Suddenly the fortitude to withstand and endure fades quickly and then *Poof* it's gone. Maybe it's about having a real cause to stand for, or the right mindset for the choice. but willpower takes a lot of commitment.
Silence would be a very difficult one for me. I have a friend who practices Buddhism and goes on several retreats a year to center herself and renew her peace. The retreats require a commitment to silence. No talking for 30 days. No verbal communication. It sounds amazing in theory........for about 5 minutes. I would go crazy without the ability to chatter. I'm a chatterbox. When I was in grade school they nicknamed me motormouth morton because I wouldn't stop talking. It's true! I enjoy the noise. I wake up to noise. I fall asleep to noise. I need noise. Silence takes me to a very dark and sad and scary place. I would have neither the inclination nor the willpower to withstand a silence retreat long enough to get my name tag and bed assignment. I talk to myself even when I'm alone, just so I'm not alone.
My son proclaimed a food strike this week, in protest and to make a point of his dissatisfaction with a situation he was facing. It lasted 90 minutes! Food strikes are difficult too. Especially for a hypoglycemic. That hunger rage, is not a pleasant experience. Neither is the rumbling in the tummy, or the hunger headache, or the empty aching abdomen. People endure hunger strikes, for a myriad of reasons, but they take serious willpower and a determination and mind set with a very strong end goal. I did it once when I was 15 and at summer camp for a week. But ask me to do it today, at 46, and I would likely make it less than 24 hours.
There are a thousand different ways willpower can be applied, fiscally, emotionally, professionally, even medically, but they all take dedication and commitment. Purpose and the right mindset can go a long way to success. For silence, I would last less than a turn of the minute hand on the clock, and a hunger strike just holds no reward worth enduring.
Lets have lunch and talk.
About Me
- Lisa
- I always wanted to write a book but could never focus long enough to make it happen. Maybe this blog will inspire me. Or maybe it can be an outlet for my jumbled thoughts and opinions. You may not always agree with me, but that's o.k. I would love to hear your thoughts anyway.
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Patience is a Virtue.....Does Anybody Have Some Spare?
Patience is virtue, an art, a well honed skill and character trait that is nurtured and seeded from the earliest years of our lives. We are taught as children to be patient for the things we want. We are taught the importance of waiting for the appropriate time to speak and to be spoken to. We wait for time with our peers, our parents, our mentors. We learn through the years that patience is a core of balancing life every day. Patience is a virtue and with it we are better people. More tolerant. More forgiving. Kinder. More thoughtful. Patience drives focus and success. Patience means the gears of life move together like a well oiled machine. Love, health, business, money, all rely on patience.
Patience is NOT my strength. It is in fact one of my biggest weaknesses. I have difficulty waiting patiently for anything. Rather it be a phone call, in line at the grocery store, for test results from my doctor, or for a child who is mere minutes late beyond a curfew. Patience is my downfall. In truth, it is my imagination and fear that is my downfall, and the time required of patience allows my imagination the freedom to run wild, like an unbridled stallion across the northern plains.
When I have nothing to worry or wait for, time flies by. The day passes and it feels like there aren't enough moments to complete my thoughts and tasks.
However,....When I have something which requires me to be patient, time comes to a halt. Its as if the world begins to move in slow motion. I can hear ever tick and tock of clock as the seconds slowly pass by. They become like a drumbeat in my breastbone. I can hear my heart beat in my ears and feel every beat at the pulse points in my neck and wrists. My mind and imagination play out every possible scenario, both positive and negative and I cry at the sadness of the bad news, even though it isn't real.
Patience requires the ability to set aside doubt and fear. To free the spirit and soul of weight and worry. To respect the time of others and the the process in which everything must pass.
Patience is not my strong suit and this week is the worst. I wait, with all the patience I can muster, and my imagination wanders and the fear and anxiety builds, and I cant help myself. As honest and true as I am to the process, I know my weakness, and it stands in the way of where I want to be.
I am trying to be patient, but if you have a cup or two to spare please send it my way.
Patience is NOT my strength. It is in fact one of my biggest weaknesses. I have difficulty waiting patiently for anything. Rather it be a phone call, in line at the grocery store, for test results from my doctor, or for a child who is mere minutes late beyond a curfew. Patience is my downfall. In truth, it is my imagination and fear that is my downfall, and the time required of patience allows my imagination the freedom to run wild, like an unbridled stallion across the northern plains.
When I have nothing to worry or wait for, time flies by. The day passes and it feels like there aren't enough moments to complete my thoughts and tasks.
However,....When I have something which requires me to be patient, time comes to a halt. Its as if the world begins to move in slow motion. I can hear ever tick and tock of clock as the seconds slowly pass by. They become like a drumbeat in my breastbone. I can hear my heart beat in my ears and feel every beat at the pulse points in my neck and wrists. My mind and imagination play out every possible scenario, both positive and negative and I cry at the sadness of the bad news, even though it isn't real.
Patience requires the ability to set aside doubt and fear. To free the spirit and soul of weight and worry. To respect the time of others and the the process in which everything must pass.
Patience is not my strong suit and this week is the worst. I wait, with all the patience I can muster, and my imagination wanders and the fear and anxiety builds, and I cant help myself. As honest and true as I am to the process, I know my weakness, and it stands in the way of where I want to be.
I am trying to be patient, but if you have a cup or two to spare please send it my way.
Monday, April 21, 2014
Go With the Flow...Letting it Roll
Sometimes in life, you just have to step back, let go, and say what the hell. Go for it. Not everything in life is about order. Truth is a little chaos can be fun, so let it roll.
I've said it before, sometimes just observing my boys is enough to keep me young. Even better, on those rare occasions I have the opportunity to join in on the celebration, for those few hours....I find myself lighter and less burdened.
It can be as simple as listening to their infectious laughter or their limitless energy as they excitedly discuss the newest games and technology. It could be their raucous and slightly sometimes raunchy humor or sharing of a silly you-tube video treasure they have discovered.
It could be a discussion on their future dreams or shared memories. Whatever the ocassion, the energy is high and it fills the space around them with a static magnetic force that pulls you in.
Granted, if it comes from a place of moodiness, the playfulness can cross the line to obnoxious and rude, but it more often stays on the side of silly, endearing, and mesmerizing.
Case and point. This weekend we celebrated my youngest sons 18th birthday. His girlfriend helped to put together a small gathering of his closest friends and included his brother and one of his brothers friends as well. We made Carne Asada and she brought baked goods to feed an army. It was amazing. No one went hungry.
I had a home filled with love and friendship and laughter and young adults ranging from 17-21 plus myself, Jeff, and my dear friend Glenda. What happened next , no one, not even I could have predicted.
As I sat with my plate on my lap enjoying my carne asada tacos and conversation with Glenda, my living room space suddenly burst with energy and chaos. Furniture was moving, blankets and sheets were pulled from the linen cupboards, broomsticks became makeshift tent poles, pillows and couch cushions were on the floor and my living room became a fort complete with LED candles and his and her separate quarters. At first feelings of control and anxiety washied over me, and then......deep breath....in and out.......and it was o.k., the room could easily be put back when they were through and this was simply imagination taking it's course. I decided to go with the flow...let it roll.
Eventually the fort was dispensed with and trivia games ensued, but the laughter was constant throughout the afternoon and well into the evening. The energy of youth. Young adults willing to embrace the creative and playful side of who they are and for a few hours shed the expectations of what being an adult is with all its rules and burdens.
My sons and their friends continue to remind me, that living is about laughter, its about spontaneity and joy. I know all about the responsibilities and rules and things which must be done, but in the moments of in-between, it's valuable to remember to laugh, heartily, wholly, all the way through.
I've said it before, sometimes just observing my boys is enough to keep me young. Even better, on those rare occasions I have the opportunity to join in on the celebration, for those few hours....I find myself lighter and less burdened.
It can be as simple as listening to their infectious laughter or their limitless energy as they excitedly discuss the newest games and technology. It could be their raucous and slightly sometimes raunchy humor or sharing of a silly you-tube video treasure they have discovered.
It could be a discussion on their future dreams or shared memories. Whatever the ocassion, the energy is high and it fills the space around them with a static magnetic force that pulls you in.
Granted, if it comes from a place of moodiness, the playfulness can cross the line to obnoxious and rude, but it more often stays on the side of silly, endearing, and mesmerizing.
Case and point. This weekend we celebrated my youngest sons 18th birthday. His girlfriend helped to put together a small gathering of his closest friends and included his brother and one of his brothers friends as well. We made Carne Asada and she brought baked goods to feed an army. It was amazing. No one went hungry.
I had a home filled with love and friendship and laughter and young adults ranging from 17-21 plus myself, Jeff, and my dear friend Glenda. What happened next , no one, not even I could have predicted.
As I sat with my plate on my lap enjoying my carne asada tacos and conversation with Glenda, my living room space suddenly burst with energy and chaos. Furniture was moving, blankets and sheets were pulled from the linen cupboards, broomsticks became makeshift tent poles, pillows and couch cushions were on the floor and my living room became a fort complete with LED candles and his and her separate quarters. At first feelings of control and anxiety washied over me, and then......deep breath....in and out.......and it was o.k., the room could easily be put back when they were through and this was simply imagination taking it's course. I decided to go with the flow...let it roll.
Eventually the fort was dispensed with and trivia games ensued, but the laughter was constant throughout the afternoon and well into the evening. The energy of youth. Young adults willing to embrace the creative and playful side of who they are and for a few hours shed the expectations of what being an adult is with all its rules and burdens.
My sons and their friends continue to remind me, that living is about laughter, its about spontaneity and joy. I know all about the responsibilities and rules and things which must be done, but in the moments of in-between, it's valuable to remember to laugh, heartily, wholly, all the way through.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Whats Next............Growing Up.....Letting Go.....
18 Years ago today at 1:20 in the afternoon I gave birth to my youngest son. Today he becomes an adult according to the calendar, and I have completed the first part of my job as his mom.
From the very start Wyatt gripped my heart, just as his brother before him, and he has had it ever since. Nothing has ever challenged me more, made me feel more complete, exasperated me, but inspired me at the same time. Motherhood is full of moments so high you feel like you will never touch the ground again and others sometimes so low they bring you to your knees.
You celebrate your child's triumphs and you feel their pain and suffering as if it were your own, and you realize undoubtedly what unconditional unlimited love truly is.
You understand your task, more deeply than any other, because it is personal and it is an oath between you and God in whatever form that may mean to you. You take a vow to commit yourself to this life, to love, to nurture, to teach, to guide, to forgive, and to let go. It is the most difficult role of humanity, and you do with honor and pride and joy, because you know it is worth every second you will experience.
Today Wyatt turns 18, and for him that means something magnificent. To him it is freedom and independence. To me, it is the culmination of hard work and devotion. I know better than he does, that his freedom and independence are not going to happen instantaneously. That they will come gradually in pieces and in time as he builds the stepping stones to them. He now has the rights, but not the functional tools and funding. It will happen, but he will need to focus on one element at a time and work towards his goals.
Both of my boys have learned well the lessons of right and wrong, moral and immoral, ethical and unethical, and they draw lines in the sand every day in the choices they make and the people they surround themselves with. They make solid choices and I am very proud of who they are. I have equipped them well with a solid foundation on which to build their masterful mansions. Now they will become the masons and build their homes brick by brick on the foundation they have been given.
I trust and have great faith that they will both do well. Being a mom is more than bottles and diapers. It's not about the cuddles and coos, it's about loving your child through the quiet nights and the crazy ones, taking the adoration and the terrible tantrums. Its knowing that the teenage angst is not about you, its about growing up, and that's o.k.. It's about never giving up, and staying the course even when its tough.
The years fly by too fast. It seems just yesterday one minute and a lifetime ago the next.
Today my youngest turns 18 and I officially no longer have children in my home. Its a strange feeling, but maybe freedom goes both ways, if I can learn to embrace it.
From the very start Wyatt gripped my heart, just as his brother before him, and he has had it ever since. Nothing has ever challenged me more, made me feel more complete, exasperated me, but inspired me at the same time. Motherhood is full of moments so high you feel like you will never touch the ground again and others sometimes so low they bring you to your knees.
You celebrate your child's triumphs and you feel their pain and suffering as if it were your own, and you realize undoubtedly what unconditional unlimited love truly is.
You understand your task, more deeply than any other, because it is personal and it is an oath between you and God in whatever form that may mean to you. You take a vow to commit yourself to this life, to love, to nurture, to teach, to guide, to forgive, and to let go. It is the most difficult role of humanity, and you do with honor and pride and joy, because you know it is worth every second you will experience.
Today Wyatt turns 18, and for him that means something magnificent. To him it is freedom and independence. To me, it is the culmination of hard work and devotion. I know better than he does, that his freedom and independence are not going to happen instantaneously. That they will come gradually in pieces and in time as he builds the stepping stones to them. He now has the rights, but not the functional tools and funding. It will happen, but he will need to focus on one element at a time and work towards his goals.
Both of my boys have learned well the lessons of right and wrong, moral and immoral, ethical and unethical, and they draw lines in the sand every day in the choices they make and the people they surround themselves with. They make solid choices and I am very proud of who they are. I have equipped them well with a solid foundation on which to build their masterful mansions. Now they will become the masons and build their homes brick by brick on the foundation they have been given.
I trust and have great faith that they will both do well. Being a mom is more than bottles and diapers. It's not about the cuddles and coos, it's about loving your child through the quiet nights and the crazy ones, taking the adoration and the terrible tantrums. Its knowing that the teenage angst is not about you, its about growing up, and that's o.k.. It's about never giving up, and staying the course even when its tough.
The years fly by too fast. It seems just yesterday one minute and a lifetime ago the next.
Today my youngest turns 18 and I officially no longer have children in my home. Its a strange feeling, but maybe freedom goes both ways, if I can learn to embrace it.
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Not Gonna Lie, Feeling a LIttle Anxiety.....
This week is a big week for me. There is of course the typical annual due date for income taxes, but that doesn't bother me, I file electronically every January using Turbo Tax and by April 15th it's all a distant memory.
The week is important for me because my youngest son, Wyatt, has his birthday on the 17th. This year is different because he turns 18, and my role as mom changes. He legally becomes an adult and the dynamic between he and I will evolve. I'm not anxious about it. I've been through it before with his older brother and it takes time to adjust, but its a good thing. I am admittedly a little sad as an era and chapter in my life comes to a close. But a new one is just beginning and that's exciting. I can embrace this change, in time..... :) Not without its moments of tears, but I am confident that I did my job well and provided both of my sons with the solid core of morals and substance on which to build their futures. Now it will be up to them to make those choices. They know, undoubtedly that I will always be here, should they need me.....or at least I will try. And therein lies my anxiety..........................
I am grateful this week for Wyatt's chaotic and ever busy social life. Usually it drives me crazy, but this week, its keeping me occupied and that's good. He is keeping me occupied with prom, and track, tuxedo, cell phone, and other appointments and needs, and it's all a distraction that keeps me from obsessively worrying and focusing on the pain in my chest and the difficulty I have breathing when I exercise. The lightheadedness when I bend over to pick something up, the loss of equilibrium, the headaches which seem to be coming more frequently, and the overwhelming, at times debilitating fear I have regarding upcoming health diagnostic tests.
April 7th was my official 6 month post PE date. This is significant medically because its the marker in which they use to begin determining if the residual heart and lung damage is repairable or permanent. Assuming in the first 6 months that healing is occurring, anything post 6 months can then be gauged.
My first step is an Echo cardiogram this Friday a the Providence Heart Center. The focus is on the right heart valve and the pulmonary vessels of the lungs. If I think too much, the anxiety cripples me and I lose all focus on daily activities and responsibilities. Staying busy helps. Wyatt is playing his role perfectly, without even realizing it. To him its just business as usual, a 17 year old, soon to be 18, who sees his life as priority and for today....for this week.......I can role with that.
I will always be here for my boys....even when they are men......with families of their own.....for as long as I have the strength and power to do so.
The week is important for me because my youngest son, Wyatt, has his birthday on the 17th. This year is different because he turns 18, and my role as mom changes. He legally becomes an adult and the dynamic between he and I will evolve. I'm not anxious about it. I've been through it before with his older brother and it takes time to adjust, but its a good thing. I am admittedly a little sad as an era and chapter in my life comes to a close. But a new one is just beginning and that's exciting. I can embrace this change, in time..... :) Not without its moments of tears, but I am confident that I did my job well and provided both of my sons with the solid core of morals and substance on which to build their futures. Now it will be up to them to make those choices. They know, undoubtedly that I will always be here, should they need me.....or at least I will try. And therein lies my anxiety..........................
I am grateful this week for Wyatt's chaotic and ever busy social life. Usually it drives me crazy, but this week, its keeping me occupied and that's good. He is keeping me occupied with prom, and track, tuxedo, cell phone, and other appointments and needs, and it's all a distraction that keeps me from obsessively worrying and focusing on the pain in my chest and the difficulty I have breathing when I exercise. The lightheadedness when I bend over to pick something up, the loss of equilibrium, the headaches which seem to be coming more frequently, and the overwhelming, at times debilitating fear I have regarding upcoming health diagnostic tests.
April 7th was my official 6 month post PE date. This is significant medically because its the marker in which they use to begin determining if the residual heart and lung damage is repairable or permanent. Assuming in the first 6 months that healing is occurring, anything post 6 months can then be gauged.
My first step is an Echo cardiogram this Friday a the Providence Heart Center. The focus is on the right heart valve and the pulmonary vessels of the lungs. If I think too much, the anxiety cripples me and I lose all focus on daily activities and responsibilities. Staying busy helps. Wyatt is playing his role perfectly, without even realizing it. To him its just business as usual, a 17 year old, soon to be 18, who sees his life as priority and for today....for this week.......I can role with that.
I will always be here for my boys....even when they are men......with families of their own.....for as long as I have the strength and power to do so.
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Cough Drops..Snicker Doodles...It's Not What You Think...
I think I just peed myself. Yes.. you read that correctly. Cough drops are no longer simply lozenges meant to soothe a sore throat, they are the signs of what happens to a woman after she has given birth and sadly even to those who haven't but are simply aging. We tinkle at the slightest squeeze of abdominal muscles. Laughter and giggles, even a snicker can mean dribbles.
We tinkle like fine china but not in a good way. And the truth is, no matter how hard we try, there is no keggle exercise in the world that can fix the muscles needed to retain full control of our body. We sneeze, we drip. We cough, we drop. We giggle, laugh, snort, snicker, or otherwise engage in frivolity, that's right... you guessed it... we piddle, doodle, puddle.
Life without pantyliner's or some other greater capacity absorbency product is a thing of the past. Menopause might be starting and our periods might be fading away into memory, but the pads, they are just now becoming a mainstay design in our everyday dress code.
I personally refuse to walk around in wet britches with a urine cloud surrounding and announcing my arrival. So I'll take the pantyliner or sanitary napkin any day. However, I am not ready to give in to the full on undergarment, if you know what I mean. They are just dribbles after all, not full on loss of control, so I've accepted this with minor caveats.
The hardest part of this dilemma of life is sharing a single bathroom home with a seventeen year old. My son enjoys his long showers or hot soaks in the tub after long days at the track, they sooth his muscles. It's understandable, except when mom has to pee. Which, lets be honest.... is frequently. The 'just hold it' mantra we teach our kids when they are little, no longer works for me as a middle aged woman. I WISH I could "just hold it". He doesn't understand the need to hurry along and/or to allow me to interrupt his otherwise soothing ritual, simply to pee. It can make things complicated. There is a shower curtain and he can always wear his earphones with his music. But when I have to go, I have to go. It's not like I would ever poop, that would just be rude and weird. Unlike a man, I can't just find a bush and pee standing up unbeknownst to passersby.
I'm 46, going on 47 and I've sprung a leak. It comes and it goes, but its persistently more prominent than I would hope for. Keggles don't repair it. It seems to be one of those things they don't tell you about when your twenty because they know if you knew, you'd never give in.
We tinkle like fine china but not in a good way. And the truth is, no matter how hard we try, there is no keggle exercise in the world that can fix the muscles needed to retain full control of our body. We sneeze, we drip. We cough, we drop. We giggle, laugh, snort, snicker, or otherwise engage in frivolity, that's right... you guessed it... we piddle, doodle, puddle.
Life without pantyliner's or some other greater capacity absorbency product is a thing of the past. Menopause might be starting and our periods might be fading away into memory, but the pads, they are just now becoming a mainstay design in our everyday dress code.
I personally refuse to walk around in wet britches with a urine cloud surrounding and announcing my arrival. So I'll take the pantyliner or sanitary napkin any day. However, I am not ready to give in to the full on undergarment, if you know what I mean. They are just dribbles after all, not full on loss of control, so I've accepted this with minor caveats.
The hardest part of this dilemma of life is sharing a single bathroom home with a seventeen year old. My son enjoys his long showers or hot soaks in the tub after long days at the track, they sooth his muscles. It's understandable, except when mom has to pee. Which, lets be honest.... is frequently. The 'just hold it' mantra we teach our kids when they are little, no longer works for me as a middle aged woman. I WISH I could "just hold it". He doesn't understand the need to hurry along and/or to allow me to interrupt his otherwise soothing ritual, simply to pee. It can make things complicated. There is a shower curtain and he can always wear his earphones with his music. But when I have to go, I have to go. It's not like I would ever poop, that would just be rude and weird. Unlike a man, I can't just find a bush and pee standing up unbeknownst to passersby.
I'm 46, going on 47 and I've sprung a leak. It comes and it goes, but its persistently more prominent than I would hope for. Keggles don't repair it. It seems to be one of those things they don't tell you about when your twenty because they know if you knew, you'd never give in.
Monday, April 7, 2014
Meditation....Clearing the Mind and Caring for the Soul
I was reminded this weekend by a dear friend of meditation and how little effort it takes but what a tremendous impact it can have on my overall well being. It's a simple thing to do, and truly can take as little as 10 minutes or as long as I have available to sit with my self, but those 10 minutes can mean the difference between life well lived and simple survival from one day to the next.
Meditation is one small way in which I can care for my soul and bring piece to my life. Balance and calm, when all that seems to lie ahead are unknown stormy seas. There are days my anxiety levels are so high it takes every ounce of effort I have to focus on the most simple tasks. I am so overwhelmed by the tightness in my chest and the shortness of my breath, that fear becomes crippling. I put on a brave smile, but inside I am trembling and my imagination is running wild with catastrophic visions of a dark future in which I lose the greatest battle of my life. Without meditation or some other resource, I become my worst enemy and my mind will fulfill its own prophecy through fear.
Meditation can help me to clear my mind of those dark thoughts, to visualize my lungs and my heart as clear and beautiful fully functioning organs, sustaining life. Meditation can help to cast off my daily weariness of work, or family struggles. Insecurities with myself or my relationships with those I love. Meditation, can help me to remember that I am just one person, with one life, breathing in and out, existing at this time and this place, fulfilling my purpose, and that life is a journey.
Meditation has no religious affiliation, it is spiritual in the sense that you are in touch with your inner being and the powers of the universe and mind that surrounds us all, but it doesn't require that a practitioner subscribe to a particular religious sect or doctrine to participate. Meditation is simply a practice of clearing the mind of all the daily muck, getting rid of the toxic garbage that weighs it down, and accepting that the journey is one step at a time. It's like a colonic for the brain without so much discomfort. :)
I am currently reading a book called Care of the Soul, and in its introduction it states unequivocally that:
Meditation, even in ten minute intervals, can help me to center, to see myself in a better place, to free my soul of its anchors of pain and fear, and to move more lightly with hope and joy appreciating each moment for what it is. A chance.
Meditation is one small way in which I can care for my soul and bring piece to my life. Balance and calm, when all that seems to lie ahead are unknown stormy seas. There are days my anxiety levels are so high it takes every ounce of effort I have to focus on the most simple tasks. I am so overwhelmed by the tightness in my chest and the shortness of my breath, that fear becomes crippling. I put on a brave smile, but inside I am trembling and my imagination is running wild with catastrophic visions of a dark future in which I lose the greatest battle of my life. Without meditation or some other resource, I become my worst enemy and my mind will fulfill its own prophecy through fear.
Meditation can help me to clear my mind of those dark thoughts, to visualize my lungs and my heart as clear and beautiful fully functioning organs, sustaining life. Meditation can help to cast off my daily weariness of work, or family struggles. Insecurities with myself or my relationships with those I love. Meditation, can help me to remember that I am just one person, with one life, breathing in and out, existing at this time and this place, fulfilling my purpose, and that life is a journey.
Meditation has no religious affiliation, it is spiritual in the sense that you are in touch with your inner being and the powers of the universe and mind that surrounds us all, but it doesn't require that a practitioner subscribe to a particular religious sect or doctrine to participate. Meditation is simply a practice of clearing the mind of all the daily muck, getting rid of the toxic garbage that weighs it down, and accepting that the journey is one step at a time. It's like a colonic for the brain without so much discomfort. :)
I am currently reading a book called Care of the Soul, and in its introduction it states unequivocally that:
"No one can tell you how to live your life. No one know the secret of the heart sufficiently to tell others about them authoritatively"It's a simple truth. But as much wisdom as we each gain throughout our lives, it's our wisdom. We can share it, surely. We can use it as a guidepost for others, of course. But our wisdom, is based on our personal journey, and therefore, applicable only to us.
Meditation, even in ten minute intervals, can help me to center, to see myself in a better place, to free my soul of its anchors of pain and fear, and to move more lightly with hope and joy appreciating each moment for what it is. A chance.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Smarmy, Heeby Jeeby, Willys, Creepy Guys
There are nice guys out there. Trust me, I've known a few. I'm raising two. Men who treat women right, with respect and appreciation. Men who are kind and have good hearts. Men who are strong but know how to be soft and gentle too.
They come in all packages. Young and old, tall and short, thin and more robust (no i didn't say fat...that's mean). Some are athletic and some are more relaxed (not lazy, just more leisurely). You have the health fanatics and the foodies, the models, and the behind the scenes geniuses, the techies, the socialites, the shy ones and the extroverts. All shapes and sizes. But a good guy, can be found by the size of his heart and the compassion in his soul. No one is perfect, but the good guy recognizes and acknowledges his flaws and he works hard to compensate for them. He isn't afraid to say he's sorry, and he's willing to forgive when you say your sorry too without the penalty of purgatory, no grudges necessary. He shows affection, and is fiercely loyal and protective.
But there are also too many creepy guys out there, and too many women who settle for them but deserve so much better. I understand the heart wants what the heart wants, and that the creep factor goes both ways. Great guys settle for creepy women too, but the odds always seems to be so much heavier weighted the other direction. Men who think they are gods gift to the universe and that every woman should lust for them are everywhere and at all ages. You would think they would eventually mature and learn, but once a slime ball, always a slime-ball I guess. They openly flirt and court the idea of one foot out the door and laying the ground work even in front of the women they presently profess to care for, and commit to. These smarmy, I'm too sexy for my shirt guys, frequently know little about the real meaning of commitment and instead use relationships and sex as power plays to manipulate the women in their lives into giving them what they want. They control everything from friendships, to money, to family, to personal hygiene and weight. Most of the women who find themselves suddenly stuck in this relationship, are smart and independent women, who simply don't know how to break out, often times until they have been broken down, and realize enough is enough.
Heeby Jeeby men, make cheesy come on lines, and make the majority of women want to go home and scrub clean. They are inappropriate and often rude, and if rebuffed usually turn defensive and aggressive. A good course scrub in a scalding hot shower never seems enough to get the oil of this sleaze out of your head. Then there is the guy who stares too long at your breast, or brushes up against you "accidentally" in line. You know the guy who gives you the willys and makes your skin crawl, greasy hair, dark eyes, slumps a bit, walks with his head down, never quite looks people in the eyes. You go away feeling violated and spend the next few weeks watching your back and avoiding dark corners. A little pepper spray or a personal stun gun might be a good investment.
But the worst Creep isn't the stranger on your bus, or in the line at the concession stand, its the one sharing your bed who treats you like a second rate citizen. Who belittles you, and demeans you, and acts as if your thoughts and feelings are of little consequence in comparison to his. The biggest jerk is the one who tells you he loves you then treats you like a slave. Or never tells you he loves you at all but keeps you on an invisible leash like a pet.
I've been there, done that, I'm all about partnerships now. Mutual respect and appreciation, everyone brings a value and something special to the table. It all equals out and I never feel taken for granted or abused, emotionally or otherwise. Relationships mature as we grow older, or at least they are supposed to.
Remember when the bad outweighs the good its time to say goodbye and move forward. Its never too late to reclaim who you are, and find your strength, your courage, your beauty and your independence as a woman. If a man loves you, he will accept them all and love you because of them. Never compromise your emotional, mental, or physical well being for a man. If he infers you cant survive without him, walk away and prove him wrong.
They come in all packages. Young and old, tall and short, thin and more robust (no i didn't say fat...that's mean). Some are athletic and some are more relaxed (not lazy, just more leisurely). You have the health fanatics and the foodies, the models, and the behind the scenes geniuses, the techies, the socialites, the shy ones and the extroverts. All shapes and sizes. But a good guy, can be found by the size of his heart and the compassion in his soul. No one is perfect, but the good guy recognizes and acknowledges his flaws and he works hard to compensate for them. He isn't afraid to say he's sorry, and he's willing to forgive when you say your sorry too without the penalty of purgatory, no grudges necessary. He shows affection, and is fiercely loyal and protective.
But there are also too many creepy guys out there, and too many women who settle for them but deserve so much better. I understand the heart wants what the heart wants, and that the creep factor goes both ways. Great guys settle for creepy women too, but the odds always seems to be so much heavier weighted the other direction. Men who think they are gods gift to the universe and that every woman should lust for them are everywhere and at all ages. You would think they would eventually mature and learn, but once a slime ball, always a slime-ball I guess. They openly flirt and court the idea of one foot out the door and laying the ground work even in front of the women they presently profess to care for, and commit to. These smarmy, I'm too sexy for my shirt guys, frequently know little about the real meaning of commitment and instead use relationships and sex as power plays to manipulate the women in their lives into giving them what they want. They control everything from friendships, to money, to family, to personal hygiene and weight. Most of the women who find themselves suddenly stuck in this relationship, are smart and independent women, who simply don't know how to break out, often times until they have been broken down, and realize enough is enough.
Heeby Jeeby men, make cheesy come on lines, and make the majority of women want to go home and scrub clean. They are inappropriate and often rude, and if rebuffed usually turn defensive and aggressive. A good course scrub in a scalding hot shower never seems enough to get the oil of this sleaze out of your head. Then there is the guy who stares too long at your breast, or brushes up against you "accidentally" in line. You know the guy who gives you the willys and makes your skin crawl, greasy hair, dark eyes, slumps a bit, walks with his head down, never quite looks people in the eyes. You go away feeling violated and spend the next few weeks watching your back and avoiding dark corners. A little pepper spray or a personal stun gun might be a good investment.
But the worst Creep isn't the stranger on your bus, or in the line at the concession stand, its the one sharing your bed who treats you like a second rate citizen. Who belittles you, and demeans you, and acts as if your thoughts and feelings are of little consequence in comparison to his. The biggest jerk is the one who tells you he loves you then treats you like a slave. Or never tells you he loves you at all but keeps you on an invisible leash like a pet.
I've been there, done that, I'm all about partnerships now. Mutual respect and appreciation, everyone brings a value and something special to the table. It all equals out and I never feel taken for granted or abused, emotionally or otherwise. Relationships mature as we grow older, or at least they are supposed to.
Remember when the bad outweighs the good its time to say goodbye and move forward. Its never too late to reclaim who you are, and find your strength, your courage, your beauty and your independence as a woman. If a man loves you, he will accept them all and love you because of them. Never compromise your emotional, mental, or physical well being for a man. If he infers you cant survive without him, walk away and prove him wrong.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
New Age Parenting....Different Isn't Always Better...It's just Different
Parenting is tough. It is full of trial and error and no matter what they say, no book, no "expert", no one has all the answers. Every child is unique and every parent child dynamic is it;s own. Let me just start by iterating, Strongly, that I don't discount the idea of new methods and information. There are some really great things happening with today's parents that didn't occur when I was raising my sons.
Right now it is all the rage to teach your infant sign language before they can even speak. Brilliant. It provides a way of communication before their pallets are able to accommodate the full range of sounds and speech patterns necessary to express their needs. I love this idea.
Here is where I differ.....parenting is tough, it's true, but part of parenting means guidance and discipline, setting boundaries. And those start early, almost from day one. Its o.k. to use the word NO with a our children. It won't hurt them or their psyche. It teaches boundaries. Will they eventually say it back to us. Absolutely. I'd be concerned if they didn't. Its part of learning and growing and testing their own limits and exerting their independence as they grow. But as a parent you maintain control and reinforce the parent child dynamic.
Children can be raised with firm limits and rules that don't include violence and emotional abuse. You can teach a child boundaries and good behavior through consistent reinforcement and a system of consequences for behavior both positive and negative.
Children who are never told NO grow up feeling entitled. They have no respect for limitations and rules in society or for the feeling of those around them. They say what they want when they want, devil may care. Parenting is tough, sometimes it risks the anger of our children directed at us, sometimes they are not going to like us, or think we are cool, but when we are finished with our job, and they are ready for the world, they will know.....We loved them. That we did the best we could and that we prepared them for the real world. They will thank us for being tough and courageous enough to say NO.
Parenting is never easy, it wasn't meant to be. It takes blood sweat and tears. Lots and lots of tears. But it takes love and patience too. And in the end it is the greatest reward we have.
Parents today seem to always be looking for different ways of doing things that have been done well for centuries. With every generation there is a new idea for something different to be done, but different isn't always better....sometimes different is just that....different.
Right now it is all the rage to teach your infant sign language before they can even speak. Brilliant. It provides a way of communication before their pallets are able to accommodate the full range of sounds and speech patterns necessary to express their needs. I love this idea.
Here is where I differ.....parenting is tough, it's true, but part of parenting means guidance and discipline, setting boundaries. And those start early, almost from day one. Its o.k. to use the word NO with a our children. It won't hurt them or their psyche. It teaches boundaries. Will they eventually say it back to us. Absolutely. I'd be concerned if they didn't. Its part of learning and growing and testing their own limits and exerting their independence as they grow. But as a parent you maintain control and reinforce the parent child dynamic.
Children can be raised with firm limits and rules that don't include violence and emotional abuse. You can teach a child boundaries and good behavior through consistent reinforcement and a system of consequences for behavior both positive and negative.
Children who are never told NO grow up feeling entitled. They have no respect for limitations and rules in society or for the feeling of those around them. They say what they want when they want, devil may care. Parenting is tough, sometimes it risks the anger of our children directed at us, sometimes they are not going to like us, or think we are cool, but when we are finished with our job, and they are ready for the world, they will know.....We loved them. That we did the best we could and that we prepared them for the real world. They will thank us for being tough and courageous enough to say NO.
Parenting is never easy, it wasn't meant to be. It takes blood sweat and tears. Lots and lots of tears. But it takes love and patience too. And in the end it is the greatest reward we have.
Parents today seem to always be looking for different ways of doing things that have been done well for centuries. With every generation there is a new idea for something different to be done, but different isn't always better....sometimes different is just that....different.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Happy Thurfriday!
What is a Thurfriday you might ask? Well, its just the best damn day of the week! It's like platform 13 1/2 to Harry Potter. It's like a Turducken at Thanksgiving (yes I'm still trying to wrap my head around that one but we'll discuss that later).
Thurfirday is the pinnacle day in which the heavens open up and angels sing hallelujah, or maybe that's just my coworker cackling, but either way, it spells freedom and a 3 day weekend or respice, or reprieve, whatever your perspective. It's bliss.
Since starting work at Clackamas County last August I have relearned the days of the week as they were taught to me back in kindergarten a few years ago....ahem. Gone are the days of Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday-Thursday-Friday-Saturday-Sunday. Welcome to my new age week...Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday-Thurfriday-Myday-Saturday-Sunday! Amazing! I know. There is actually a day in my new week called Myday! Sometimes its all about me and sometimes it's full of others, but one thing it never is.....work.
Myday means I have the house to myself and my time to me without guilt or obligation. Its a few hours of self reflective time in which I get to regroup and reset. Its time with friends, or running errands, or working on a project, or just completely turning into a vegetative state. Its all up to me, for those few hours. I can get dressed or stay in my PJ's. Comb my hair or not, it doesn't matter.....It Myday.
Now lets discuss that turducken. Who came up with brilliant idea of stuffing a chicken in a duck in a turkey? Somebody call PETA! Because somewhere in the afterlife the chicken and duck are saying REALLY! Your going to stuff me WHERE? Is this Karma? Because I know I pecked you that time when I had a bad morning, but everyone has a bad day sometimes? Truly, my final resting place is going to be THERE? So sad. RIP Emily (Merry Melodies Chicken circa 1930's) and Daffy (Merry Melodies/Looney Tunes Duck circa 1939-1989). We're sorry you got stuffed up a turkey's butt, but some people say it makes for great eating.
Happy Thurfriday. If you haven't already, may you someday find your Myday.
Thurfirday is the pinnacle day in which the heavens open up and angels sing hallelujah, or maybe that's just my coworker cackling, but either way, it spells freedom and a 3 day weekend or respice, or reprieve, whatever your perspective. It's bliss.
Since starting work at Clackamas County last August I have relearned the days of the week as they were taught to me back in kindergarten a few years ago....ahem. Gone are the days of Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday-Thursday-Friday-Saturday-Sunday. Welcome to my new age week...Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday-Thurfriday-Myday-Saturday-Sunday! Amazing! I know. There is actually a day in my new week called Myday! Sometimes its all about me and sometimes it's full of others, but one thing it never is.....work.
Myday means I have the house to myself and my time to me without guilt or obligation. Its a few hours of self reflective time in which I get to regroup and reset. Its time with friends, or running errands, or working on a project, or just completely turning into a vegetative state. Its all up to me, for those few hours. I can get dressed or stay in my PJ's. Comb my hair or not, it doesn't matter.....It Myday.
Now lets discuss that turducken. Who came up with brilliant idea of stuffing a chicken in a duck in a turkey? Somebody call PETA! Because somewhere in the afterlife the chicken and duck are saying REALLY! Your going to stuff me WHERE? Is this Karma? Because I know I pecked you that time when I had a bad morning, but everyone has a bad day sometimes? Truly, my final resting place is going to be THERE? So sad. RIP Emily (Merry Melodies Chicken circa 1930's) and Daffy (Merry Melodies/Looney Tunes Duck circa 1939-1989). We're sorry you got stuffed up a turkey's butt, but some people say it makes for great eating.
Happy Thurfriday. If you haven't already, may you someday find your Myday.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Quirkiness is Next to Godliness....
I am Quirky. Self proclaimed , I own it, and wear it proudly. I am an oddity of nature. I am both feminine and gentile but tough and self preserving when necessary. I am silly and goofy, the life of the party, but can be serious and pensive when the occasion calls for it. I have wisdom beyond my years and enough for many lifetimes, and yet I learn from others around me and new life experiences every day.
I find fascination in the minutia but can see the big picture. I love crafty ideas but don't have a creative bone in my body. I like pretty things but cant stand frilly. I like to sing and pretend I can, but the truth is I am not musical. I like to dance but have no rhythm (imagine Steve Martin in the Jerk on his family porch...yeah...that's me).
I like music, but can't name the artist when I hear a song. I like watching live sports games, and understand the basic rules, but can't tell you anything about the players, their stats, etc. I took two years of German and even hosted Bergit a German exchange student, but retain only eine bitte of the language.
I love to read but fall asleep every time I pick up a book, no matter how interesting it is to me. I have my own Wii console but can only play certain games because I am completely uncoordinated (as established in prior blogs) and can't make my fingers and brain work together to control the functions of the fast paced challenging ones.
I used to have a memory like Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory (albeit not as annoying) but the older I get the more forgetful and normal I become. LOL. Truly, some days I would forget my name if someone didn't say it to me. :)
I have a fear of feet, germs, boogies, germs, public restrooms, germs, portable toilets, germs, spiders/ants/ and all things creepy and crawly, germs, rats and mice, people who look suspicious, people with dirty hair, people who smell like urine, germs, dead skin, finger and toe nails, germs, tight confined spaces (including elevators and stairwells), driving next to semi trucks, driving next to concrete barriers, driving next to cliff edges, germs, falling down, wells, tap water, warm milk, Flying insects (not just the creepy crawly), and finally the not previously mentioned GERMS.
* Disclaimer: This list is not all inclusive and should not be taken out of context to imply all fears are covered.
I worry about and attempt to micro manage every minute detail of my life, but often struggle when things are outside of my sphere of influence and control. I pride myself on being able to stay flexible and roll with the tides, but inside my anxiety surges and I battle every minutes to stay even and calm. Never let them see you sweat. Pleasant, always be pleasant. I try.
I believe in Karma, I believe in the power of positive energy, I believe in hope, and resurgence, I believe that energy in whatever form it takes and whatever vessel it inhibits, cannot be created or destroyed, it simply transforms. When one vessel no longer sustains, it is released into the universe until another vessel is in need of it. Energy is always with us, around us, in us. Energy drives our existence, fuels our lives, our bodies, our souls, and energy is always evolving flowing in and out.
I believe that life is a gift, every second and every day. That we are here with one purpose and that is to learn. Always to learn. When you stop learning, stop growing, you stop living. I learn every day.
I have much to live for.
I wear colors that don't match (only at home) and mans pajama pants (what....they're comfortable). I go without a bra (some days..I know...how tacky?...right?), and I use hair chalk and color clip ins for fun sometimes (yes...even at 46). I have two tattoos (and though I would love another its no longer in the cards due to health reasons), and I use to have several other piercings besides just my ears (key word...Used To. :) ).
Like I said....Quirky. Unique....I wear it proudly, I may be different, But I am a majestic unicorn in a field of sheep.
I find fascination in the minutia but can see the big picture. I love crafty ideas but don't have a creative bone in my body. I like pretty things but cant stand frilly. I like to sing and pretend I can, but the truth is I am not musical. I like to dance but have no rhythm (imagine Steve Martin in the Jerk on his family porch...yeah...that's me).
I like music, but can't name the artist when I hear a song. I like watching live sports games, and understand the basic rules, but can't tell you anything about the players, their stats, etc. I took two years of German and even hosted Bergit a German exchange student, but retain only eine bitte of the language.
I love to read but fall asleep every time I pick up a book, no matter how interesting it is to me. I have my own Wii console but can only play certain games because I am completely uncoordinated (as established in prior blogs) and can't make my fingers and brain work together to control the functions of the fast paced challenging ones.
I used to have a memory like Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory (albeit not as annoying) but the older I get the more forgetful and normal I become. LOL. Truly, some days I would forget my name if someone didn't say it to me. :)
I have a fear of feet, germs, boogies, germs, public restrooms, germs, portable toilets, germs, spiders/ants/ and all things creepy and crawly, germs, rats and mice, people who look suspicious, people with dirty hair, people who smell like urine, germs, dead skin, finger and toe nails, germs, tight confined spaces (including elevators and stairwells), driving next to semi trucks, driving next to concrete barriers, driving next to cliff edges, germs, falling down, wells, tap water, warm milk, Flying insects (not just the creepy crawly), and finally the not previously mentioned GERMS.
* Disclaimer: This list is not all inclusive and should not be taken out of context to imply all fears are covered.
I worry about and attempt to micro manage every minute detail of my life, but often struggle when things are outside of my sphere of influence and control. I pride myself on being able to stay flexible and roll with the tides, but inside my anxiety surges and I battle every minutes to stay even and calm. Never let them see you sweat. Pleasant, always be pleasant. I try.
I believe in Karma, I believe in the power of positive energy, I believe in hope, and resurgence, I believe that energy in whatever form it takes and whatever vessel it inhibits, cannot be created or destroyed, it simply transforms. When one vessel no longer sustains, it is released into the universe until another vessel is in need of it. Energy is always with us, around us, in us. Energy drives our existence, fuels our lives, our bodies, our souls, and energy is always evolving flowing in and out.
I believe that life is a gift, every second and every day. That we are here with one purpose and that is to learn. Always to learn. When you stop learning, stop growing, you stop living. I learn every day.
I have much to live for.
I wear colors that don't match (only at home) and mans pajama pants (what....they're comfortable). I go without a bra (some days..I know...how tacky?...right?), and I use hair chalk and color clip ins for fun sometimes (yes...even at 46). I have two tattoos (and though I would love another its no longer in the cards due to health reasons), and I use to have several other piercings besides just my ears (key word...Used To. :) ).
Like I said....Quirky. Unique....I wear it proudly, I may be different, But I am a majestic unicorn in a field of sheep.
Monday, March 24, 2014
The Portland Zoo of People Watching............
Its like wild life safari without fences or barriers. The wildlife wanders right up to you, past you, around you. People watching in downtown Portland is a fascination and day of amusement like none other. Pick a mild sunny day like this past Saturday, and make your way to heart of the city and then watch. Just watch. It's like lions and tiger and bears...oh my. Giraffes, and Emus, lemurs, mountain goats. They are all there, you just have to look and be careful not to get to close. You never know which ones might bite.
There are the crazy ones which clearly carry on conversations with themselves, usually involving a great deal of profanity and anger, as they confront their inner demons. There is the older woman who still wants to believe she is twenty and dresses the part, though she no longer has the legs for it and that short skirt only reveals the truth of her age through the sad thinning wrinkles of the skin on her legs.
You have the bohemian couple wearing layers of clothing who you imagine collect rainwater for bathing in barrels in their back yard. Their dreadlocks and odd sour scent clearly indicate a lack of hygiene and their personal stand against things like deodorant and soap. And the goth couple with their female pit bull who clearly just gave birth to a litter of puppies and isn't in the mood to be social. Now there is a ticking time bomb waiting to blow as you see the aggression and pain in her eyes every time another dog walks within her personal bubble.
You have the sunbathers, though it's barely 60 degrees even with blue skies; and those who are still wearing their sweaters and winter boots. Their are those in winter caps, and those in spring hats. Children playing on the fountain, not yet turned on by the city. Pet owners who have well trained animals and those with pets 5x their healthy weight, and then those pets are are sorely misbehaved. And you wonder, how and why does a loving pet owner allow that to happen?
There are loud talkers, who reverberate clear across the quadrant, and a mix of foreign languages. There are young people in love, youth gathering for a day of mayhem in the city, married couples, dating couples, elderly, and singles. Poor, rich, professionals, and artistic. There are the tourists, and the new to the northwest, and an array of others.
Each has a unique quality and quirkiness that makes you watch, draws your attention even if only for a glancing second. It is a menagerie of beauty and beasts, colors distinct and muddied. The street performer, the doctrinator, those with a cause, and those who just want to be left alone.
People watching is like a going to a humane zoo....Where the animals are free to wander and live their lives. To hunt and feed, mate, and move about wherever their instincts take them as long as it follows the purview of society's basic rules. People watching is different every time you do it, everyplace you go. The animals are always unique and special and though some qualities may be similar, the fascination is in the subtleties that make them different.
There are the crazy ones which clearly carry on conversations with themselves, usually involving a great deal of profanity and anger, as they confront their inner demons. There is the older woman who still wants to believe she is twenty and dresses the part, though she no longer has the legs for it and that short skirt only reveals the truth of her age through the sad thinning wrinkles of the skin on her legs.
You have the bohemian couple wearing layers of clothing who you imagine collect rainwater for bathing in barrels in their back yard. Their dreadlocks and odd sour scent clearly indicate a lack of hygiene and their personal stand against things like deodorant and soap. And the goth couple with their female pit bull who clearly just gave birth to a litter of puppies and isn't in the mood to be social. Now there is a ticking time bomb waiting to blow as you see the aggression and pain in her eyes every time another dog walks within her personal bubble.
You have the sunbathers, though it's barely 60 degrees even with blue skies; and those who are still wearing their sweaters and winter boots. Their are those in winter caps, and those in spring hats. Children playing on the fountain, not yet turned on by the city. Pet owners who have well trained animals and those with pets 5x their healthy weight, and then those pets are are sorely misbehaved. And you wonder, how and why does a loving pet owner allow that to happen?
There are loud talkers, who reverberate clear across the quadrant, and a mix of foreign languages. There are young people in love, youth gathering for a day of mayhem in the city, married couples, dating couples, elderly, and singles. Poor, rich, professionals, and artistic. There are the tourists, and the new to the northwest, and an array of others.
Each has a unique quality and quirkiness that makes you watch, draws your attention even if only for a glancing second. It is a menagerie of beauty and beasts, colors distinct and muddied. The street performer, the doctrinator, those with a cause, and those who just want to be left alone.
People watching is like a going to a humane zoo....Where the animals are free to wander and live their lives. To hunt and feed, mate, and move about wherever their instincts take them as long as it follows the purview of society's basic rules. People watching is different every time you do it, everyplace you go. The animals are always unique and special and though some qualities may be similar, the fascination is in the subtleties that make them different.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Spring Cleaning
Today is the first day of Spring 2014! A cause for celebration indeed. Winter is over, the grey skies will now magically disappearing, bluebirds will begin singing, small furry animals will scamper across fields of green and flowers will bloom. The air will fill with the fragrant scents of blossoms as they burst forth from hibernation and the world will once again be set right on its axis. It could happen.
Truth be told, that's what I am allowing myself to believe for this one day. That Sunrise and Sunset have stricken a bargain with mother nature to put away the greyness of winter for the next 8 months and to allow Spring to lead the way for Summer and Fall, setting a precedence with beauty and life renewed.
Isn't that the cycle? The bigger picture? The way it's always been? We just forget sometimes that its all part of this majestic miracle and that we are observers to a planetary evolution every year. Its really rather remarkable when you take the time to sit back and think about it.
Stop running amok with your armas flailing about in your havoc filled chaotic lives for just one minute in one hour for one day and watch what is happening around you. Because it is freaking awesome. Nature and all she has to offer, including mankind, are absolutely captivatingly spectacular. Its a live action 4D movie all day every day. Humor, action, thriller, horror, drama, love story, all rolled into one.
Now...for the downer...Spring brings with it spring cleaning...this includes the fireplace, closets, yards, garage, patio space, under and around furniture, windows, and perhaps even an assessment of life's choices. Am I on the right course and am I moving in the right direction?
Time to tackle, Getting busy, observing, assessing, cleaning, appreciating, respecting. Life is good and Spring is here.
Truth be told, that's what I am allowing myself to believe for this one day. That Sunrise and Sunset have stricken a bargain with mother nature to put away the greyness of winter for the next 8 months and to allow Spring to lead the way for Summer and Fall, setting a precedence with beauty and life renewed.
Isn't that the cycle? The bigger picture? The way it's always been? We just forget sometimes that its all part of this majestic miracle and that we are observers to a planetary evolution every year. Its really rather remarkable when you take the time to sit back and think about it.
Stop running amok with your armas flailing about in your havoc filled chaotic lives for just one minute in one hour for one day and watch what is happening around you. Because it is freaking awesome. Nature and all she has to offer, including mankind, are absolutely captivatingly spectacular. Its a live action 4D movie all day every day. Humor, action, thriller, horror, drama, love story, all rolled into one.
Now...for the downer...Spring brings with it spring cleaning...this includes the fireplace, closets, yards, garage, patio space, under and around furniture, windows, and perhaps even an assessment of life's choices. Am I on the right course and am I moving in the right direction?
Time to tackle, Getting busy, observing, assessing, cleaning, appreciating, respecting. Life is good and Spring is here.
Safety Committee...Am I REALLY the Best Choice?
I have recently been appointed by default to the Safety Committee for my Divisions at work. We have two divisions and my predecessor left recently to pursue other career opportunities. She had served as both the Safety Committee Scribe and subsequent Chair prior to her departure, and left a vacancy which needed to be filled.
Having no other interested parties and being the most senior administrative liaison in the division, the duties fell to me. But...am I truly the RIGHT person for the job. It's debatable. Let's face it, I am not exactly the model for safety and good health.
When I was LITERALLY dying last October, I didn't ask for help or tell anyone, noooo........I didn't want to bother anyone with my issues, so I kept quiet, suffered in silence, and somehow, (God only knows how), drove myself for medical care. NOT exactly the model for safe practices. Then of course, there is the simple fact that I fall down, A LOT!. I trip over my own two feet as if they were obstacles thrown in my way intentionally. Walking is not my strong suit, safety model.....its questionable. My fix for a cut, is superglue. My motto when the boys were growing up was "No Blood, No Tears". If its a drill, work through it. I don't think the safety committee would find my opinions on the overwrought irrational planning for pending disasters that may never come very complimentary. I am not a big fan of hitting the panic button.
I come to work to work, not to babysit others. I assume that everyone here is a qualified intelligent adult hired for a specific purpose and vetted for their skill set and knowledge. I also assume that as adults we have all developed a sense of right and wrong and the ability to react appropriately in situations of health and safety. If you don't have the knowledge to handle something, then you step back and defer to someone who does. Its common sense.
I guess the concept of a safety committee makes sense and having a single point of contact to relay valuable information to each division is helpful, but the scope of the role seems to go beyond. Given my track record and my own personal knowledge of ME, I just wonder if I'm the best person for the job.
Safety and my my name are usually not synonymous. I'll do my best, because I always do, but I am more likely to be a candidate for modeling what NOT to do that for setting the example of what to do.
Having no other interested parties and being the most senior administrative liaison in the division, the duties fell to me. But...am I truly the RIGHT person for the job. It's debatable. Let's face it, I am not exactly the model for safety and good health.
When I was LITERALLY dying last October, I didn't ask for help or tell anyone, noooo........I didn't want to bother anyone with my issues, so I kept quiet, suffered in silence, and somehow, (God only knows how), drove myself for medical care. NOT exactly the model for safe practices. Then of course, there is the simple fact that I fall down, A LOT!. I trip over my own two feet as if they were obstacles thrown in my way intentionally. Walking is not my strong suit, safety model.....its questionable. My fix for a cut, is superglue. My motto when the boys were growing up was "No Blood, No Tears". If its a drill, work through it. I don't think the safety committee would find my opinions on the overwrought irrational planning for pending disasters that may never come very complimentary. I am not a big fan of hitting the panic button.
I come to work to work, not to babysit others. I assume that everyone here is a qualified intelligent adult hired for a specific purpose and vetted for their skill set and knowledge. I also assume that as adults we have all developed a sense of right and wrong and the ability to react appropriately in situations of health and safety. If you don't have the knowledge to handle something, then you step back and defer to someone who does. Its common sense.
I guess the concept of a safety committee makes sense and having a single point of contact to relay valuable information to each division is helpful, but the scope of the role seems to go beyond. Given my track record and my own personal knowledge of ME, I just wonder if I'm the best person for the job.
Safety and my my name are usually not synonymous. I'll do my best, because I always do, but I am more likely to be a candidate for modeling what NOT to do that for setting the example of what to do.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Closure..Seeking And Finding Peace Within
Have you ever spent time struggling against a force that feels a thousand times larger than you, knowing you can't win, but you can't give up either?
The odds of achieving what you truly believe you want are insurmountable, but you beat your fists against the wall until your knuckles are broken and bloody and yet....you still can't concede. To concede is to fail, and you don't allow or accept failure for yourself. So you regroup, bandage your wounds and try again. and once again you fall down.
Some of us, (me especially) are stubborn. We don't quit easily, and we don't walk away from a fight without giving it everything we have. It's in our nature to want to win, to succeed, to overcome. And so we torture ourselves endlessly it seems, to no avail. And then one day......
We realize, that what we think we wanted all along, wasn't real. It was never ours to have. Some things are never meant to be, and the only way to win is to recognize the difference and let go.
For years I thought I wanted to be part of something I never had, I was always on the outside looking in, and I thought I wanted in. I was wrong. I was meant to be free on the outside. Free to be me. Free to chose my family and my friends by following my heart strings not my blood lines. Free to appreciate the life I have earned with great honor and pride, and free from rejection and judgement of others.
In letting go over the course of the last 12 months, piece by piece, I have embraced the joy all around me, and learned that I am loved deeper and by more people than I could have ever dreamed. I have shed the child within seeking approval and ratification, and I have found a calm that washes over me and allows me to sit with myself and know contentment.
Those who would reject me, know nothing of the person I am, and those who would judge me, need only to look at themselves firstly before looking at others. I have no desire to reach out again, now or in the future. Some things are meant to be and others are not. If our fates should shift and intertwine once again someday, it will not be I who bleeds for the chance to open doors.
Today, I have closure. I sought and found peace, and I have no regrets and no sorry's to say.
The odds of achieving what you truly believe you want are insurmountable, but you beat your fists against the wall until your knuckles are broken and bloody and yet....you still can't concede. To concede is to fail, and you don't allow or accept failure for yourself. So you regroup, bandage your wounds and try again. and once again you fall down.
Some of us, (me especially) are stubborn. We don't quit easily, and we don't walk away from a fight without giving it everything we have. It's in our nature to want to win, to succeed, to overcome. And so we torture ourselves endlessly it seems, to no avail. And then one day......
We realize, that what we think we wanted all along, wasn't real. It was never ours to have. Some things are never meant to be, and the only way to win is to recognize the difference and let go.
For years I thought I wanted to be part of something I never had, I was always on the outside looking in, and I thought I wanted in. I was wrong. I was meant to be free on the outside. Free to be me. Free to chose my family and my friends by following my heart strings not my blood lines. Free to appreciate the life I have earned with great honor and pride, and free from rejection and judgement of others.
In letting go over the course of the last 12 months, piece by piece, I have embraced the joy all around me, and learned that I am loved deeper and by more people than I could have ever dreamed. I have shed the child within seeking approval and ratification, and I have found a calm that washes over me and allows me to sit with myself and know contentment.
Those who would reject me, know nothing of the person I am, and those who would judge me, need only to look at themselves firstly before looking at others. I have no desire to reach out again, now or in the future. Some things are meant to be and others are not. If our fates should shift and intertwine once again someday, it will not be I who bleeds for the chance to open doors.
Today, I have closure. I sought and found peace, and I have no regrets and no sorry's to say.
Like the Sixth Sense...I See Dead People
Do you dream? Of course you do, what a silly question. We all dream. Do you remember your dreams? Truth is that most of us only remember our dreams for a few moments upon waking and as we become more and more awake they slip away. Our dreams are not meant to exist in the light of day. They live in the darkest recesses of our minds and only come to life when all else is at rest.
The fact is, most dreams mean nothing. They are influenced by our daily lives and interactions. Pieces of a conversation, a television show, a book, something we have seen or heard. Little details stick in our heads and give life to distorted visions in our sleep. Sometimes they are happy, sometimes they are disturbing, but most of the time they are innocuous and benign.
There are those dreams however, if you are open to them and able to recognize them, that can be signs and portents of things to come. Warnings and clues of what lies ahead. Path markers to guide us through the unknown. The key is in knowing how to tell the difference, and remembering the details.
Most people never think about the big picture. They have a bad dream, or a sexy dream, a funny dream, or an absurd dream, and they remember the feeling of it and scant details and bits but nothing more. They may place more value and meaning in their dream than really exists. If you really stop to think about your dreams and then think about your daily activities, 99 times out of 100 you tie them back to something you encountered along the way. They are simply manifestations of your imagination and that mystery of mind.
But that still leaves 1. That 1 dream that has no ties to anything. That one dream that comes from no where. If you are paying attention and tuning it, its a message and it may just save your life or someone you love. It may help you make a decision, or find something lost. That Dream...that 1 in 100 can have greater meaning than you may ever anticipate, but you have to pay attention.
I like to journal my dreams, write down what i can remember when I first wake up, take notes on my phone or on a scratch paper before they disappear, and then refer to my dream manuals and see what they have to say. Usually, I get all worked up and then realize......oh yes....so and so and I were talking about that.....or....oh that right, I was thinking about that person......and then the dreams value becomes null. But there are always those 1 in 100's. they create the De'ja'vus. The I've been here befores. And you have. Because you dreamed it. A dream of portent and inner sight.
We all have it. It's a matter of tuning in.
My dreams, oddly enough are frequently filled with loved ones and acquaintances who have passed on. I see them frequently, perhaps only because they are always in my mind and heart. Or maybe because I am more concerned with my own mortality these days, I'm not certain, but they are always pleasant, never fearful and it brings me peace. I don;t think these are portent, I think they are explainable, but I see dead people and they smile.
The fact is, most dreams mean nothing. They are influenced by our daily lives and interactions. Pieces of a conversation, a television show, a book, something we have seen or heard. Little details stick in our heads and give life to distorted visions in our sleep. Sometimes they are happy, sometimes they are disturbing, but most of the time they are innocuous and benign.
There are those dreams however, if you are open to them and able to recognize them, that can be signs and portents of things to come. Warnings and clues of what lies ahead. Path markers to guide us through the unknown. The key is in knowing how to tell the difference, and remembering the details.
Most people never think about the big picture. They have a bad dream, or a sexy dream, a funny dream, or an absurd dream, and they remember the feeling of it and scant details and bits but nothing more. They may place more value and meaning in their dream than really exists. If you really stop to think about your dreams and then think about your daily activities, 99 times out of 100 you tie them back to something you encountered along the way. They are simply manifestations of your imagination and that mystery of mind.
But that still leaves 1. That 1 dream that has no ties to anything. That one dream that comes from no where. If you are paying attention and tuning it, its a message and it may just save your life or someone you love. It may help you make a decision, or find something lost. That Dream...that 1 in 100 can have greater meaning than you may ever anticipate, but you have to pay attention.
I like to journal my dreams, write down what i can remember when I first wake up, take notes on my phone or on a scratch paper before they disappear, and then refer to my dream manuals and see what they have to say. Usually, I get all worked up and then realize......oh yes....so and so and I were talking about that.....or....oh that right, I was thinking about that person......and then the dreams value becomes null. But there are always those 1 in 100's. they create the De'ja'vus. The I've been here befores. And you have. Because you dreamed it. A dream of portent and inner sight.
We all have it. It's a matter of tuning in.
My dreams, oddly enough are frequently filled with loved ones and acquaintances who have passed on. I see them frequently, perhaps only because they are always in my mind and heart. Or maybe because I am more concerned with my own mortality these days, I'm not certain, but they are always pleasant, never fearful and it brings me peace. I don;t think these are portent, I think they are explainable, but I see dead people and they smile.
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Spring Is In the Air
For the second day in a row in the northwest, we have bright blue clear skies and sunshine. Even as I sit at my desk I can feel my mood warming with the weather, not that I ever really fluctuate one way or the other that drasticaly, but there is a definite buoy to my spirit.
As hard as it is to adjust to the time change each spring, I do love driving home at night while the sun is still up. This morning when I arrived at work, I could hear the frogs in the nearby marshes. It's like every little thing is part of this grand symphony being written one note at a time.
The breeze, the bees, the birds, the crickets, the frogs, they all come back, and they all wake up to welcome and usher in another season of new life and new beginnings.
My daffodils are in full bloom and my rose bushes are starting to produce new leaves and signs of new buds. the trees are blooming and sprouting new leaves and the squirrels who were quieter in the winter, coming out only for food, are now out playing all day long.
Indoors, its time to clean out the fireplace and store things until fall again. Time to wash the windows and move the furniture to get any winter dust bunnies from underneath and behind. Clean off the patio, refresh the lawn chairs, by the citronella and get ready for Spring and summer nights.
Goodbye Winter, its been real. See you next time you're in my neck of the woods, but now its time to focus on something brighter, a little less gray if you know what I mean. Not that I don't appreciate the cool crisp air and the comfort of the fireplace, but change is always nice. It keeps life interesting.
As hard as it is to adjust to the time change each spring, I do love driving home at night while the sun is still up. This morning when I arrived at work, I could hear the frogs in the nearby marshes. It's like every little thing is part of this grand symphony being written one note at a time.
The breeze, the bees, the birds, the crickets, the frogs, they all come back, and they all wake up to welcome and usher in another season of new life and new beginnings.
My daffodils are in full bloom and my rose bushes are starting to produce new leaves and signs of new buds. the trees are blooming and sprouting new leaves and the squirrels who were quieter in the winter, coming out only for food, are now out playing all day long.
Indoors, its time to clean out the fireplace and store things until fall again. Time to wash the windows and move the furniture to get any winter dust bunnies from underneath and behind. Clean off the patio, refresh the lawn chairs, by the citronella and get ready for Spring and summer nights.
Goodbye Winter, its been real. See you next time you're in my neck of the woods, but now its time to focus on something brighter, a little less gray if you know what I mean. Not that I don't appreciate the cool crisp air and the comfort of the fireplace, but change is always nice. It keeps life interesting.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
As Luck Would Have It......
It would seem the old adage "Third times a charm" might hold some truth to it. Either that, or as we age we soften and become more flexible and tolerant , giving and forgiving. But I think in my case.....its more luck.
Jeff and I just passed our 8 year anniversary and we seem to be getting better with each passing year. We have our moments of frustration, and utter breakdown, but then we take a deep breath, a step back; we re-assess where we are and what we have; we look at what lies ahead as well as where we've been and we remember that together we are stronger than when we are apart.
We bring out the best in each other and we push each other to be better.
Here are just a few of the things he does for me that let me know I am the center of his world.
He lets me be me. Silly, serious, clumsy, chaotic, lazy, energetic, schizophrenic, or completely well balanced (maybe not ever). No matter how I come, he accepts me with open arms and never leaves my side.
Yes it my third try at this thing called love, partnership, or whatever term you apply, but this time....as luck would have it, I think I did alright.
Jeff and I just passed our 8 year anniversary and we seem to be getting better with each passing year. We have our moments of frustration, and utter breakdown, but then we take a deep breath, a step back; we re-assess where we are and what we have; we look at what lies ahead as well as where we've been and we remember that together we are stronger than when we are apart.
We bring out the best in each other and we push each other to be better.
Here are just a few of the things he does for me that let me know I am the center of his world.
- Every morning, although he does not work until the afternoon he gets up with me. He starts my car so that it is warm by the time I leave. He ensures I have my phone and whatever else I need for the day. He gives me hug, walks me to the door and waits as I get in the car, buckle up, shift into reverse and look back to the door to wave good bye before he walks away.
- On those days or evenings he is home with me or that I have not had the chance to change out of my work clothes before he arrives, he takes off my shoes.
- When we eat a meal, he carries my plate and drink to the table for me and when I am through he gathers them and takes them back to the kitchen.
- When I fall asleep in the chair waiting for him in the evening, he wakes me, helps to lower the footrest on the recliner and holds my hand as I stand up and make my way to the bedroom. He refills my water for the night.
- So that I'm not alone, If I am ready for bed and he is not, he will sit in the chair in the bedroom instead of the living room, simply so that he is with me. He always gives me a triple kiss before we roll over for the night.
He lets me be me. Silly, serious, clumsy, chaotic, lazy, energetic, schizophrenic, or completely well balanced (maybe not ever). No matter how I come, he accepts me with open arms and never leaves my side.
Yes it my third try at this thing called love, partnership, or whatever term you apply, but this time....as luck would have it, I think I did alright.
Hiney Holes - Everybody has one
Excuses, Excuses. Excuses are like hiney holes, everybody has one and no body wants to see or hear them. They are not pleasant. Full of poop and wasted hot air.
We have reasons why we are the way we are, but either you chose to stand up and overcome your obstacles or you play the victim always making excuses for why you are a failure at one thing or another.
Life is a choice my friend. One choice after another, after another. Suck it up. If you want rainbows and unicorns get a lobotomy and have yourself committed. The day Tulips sprout from your butt crack is the day I discover I can stick coal up my hiney hole and squeeze out exquisite diamonds. Red bull gives you wings, my eye. The only thing that can make you fly is United Airlines (or an affiliate) or a leap from a tall building in which case you will be sidewalk splatter in seconds.
Choices have consequences, good and bad. Learn it, live it, accept it. We are each equipped with the ability to decipher right from wrong. So use it. You had a bad childhood? Well so did about 50% of the population growing up in the 60's and 70's & 80's. Our generation was ripe with abuse and neglect. You were poor? Well maybe you can appreciate things more because of it.
So you've made mistakes that took you down dark and dangerous paths? Well, there are always forks in the road and new paths before us, we just have to be willing to take them. So make a turn. Sometimes the bravest thing to do, is to change. Take a stand and make a choice. Inaction and apathy are the equivalent of cowardice. Neutrality is playing it safe. Be decisive! Stand for something! Be real and be brave! Be Proud!
Stop making excuses for yourself and others. Be honest and truthful and learn to own who you are and where you come from. Don't rewrite history. Wear it proudly, for every step and every stone you've crossed has brought you where you are today. To rewrite it, would be to erase who you have become, to deny who you really are. You've made mistakes? Hell yes! Who hasn't? The only shame is in not acknowledging that we are all flawed and we are all still learning. Did you lie, cheat, or steal? Did you get caught and pay the price? Did you learn a lesson and become a better person because of it? Then guess what........You Are Human! Welcome to the not so elite club.
No excuses. Everybody has a hiney hole, full of poop, lets not double down and add excuses to the pile of dookey. Stand tall, wipe your hiney, pull up your britches and move ahead.
We have reasons why we are the way we are, but either you chose to stand up and overcome your obstacles or you play the victim always making excuses for why you are a failure at one thing or another.
Life is a choice my friend. One choice after another, after another. Suck it up. If you want rainbows and unicorns get a lobotomy and have yourself committed. The day Tulips sprout from your butt crack is the day I discover I can stick coal up my hiney hole and squeeze out exquisite diamonds. Red bull gives you wings, my eye. The only thing that can make you fly is United Airlines (or an affiliate) or a leap from a tall building in which case you will be sidewalk splatter in seconds.
Choices have consequences, good and bad. Learn it, live it, accept it. We are each equipped with the ability to decipher right from wrong. So use it. You had a bad childhood? Well so did about 50% of the population growing up in the 60's and 70's & 80's. Our generation was ripe with abuse and neglect. You were poor? Well maybe you can appreciate things more because of it.
So you've made mistakes that took you down dark and dangerous paths? Well, there are always forks in the road and new paths before us, we just have to be willing to take them. So make a turn. Sometimes the bravest thing to do, is to change. Take a stand and make a choice. Inaction and apathy are the equivalent of cowardice. Neutrality is playing it safe. Be decisive! Stand for something! Be real and be brave! Be Proud!
Stop making excuses for yourself and others. Be honest and truthful and learn to own who you are and where you come from. Don't rewrite history. Wear it proudly, for every step and every stone you've crossed has brought you where you are today. To rewrite it, would be to erase who you have become, to deny who you really are. You've made mistakes? Hell yes! Who hasn't? The only shame is in not acknowledging that we are all flawed and we are all still learning. Did you lie, cheat, or steal? Did you get caught and pay the price? Did you learn a lesson and become a better person because of it? Then guess what........You Are Human! Welcome to the not so elite club.
No excuses. Everybody has a hiney hole, full of poop, lets not double down and add excuses to the pile of dookey. Stand tall, wipe your hiney, pull up your britches and move ahead.
Monday, March 10, 2014
The Biological Clock
My biological clock continues to go tick tock..tick tock. But not the way it used to. Gone are the days of wanting babies. I no longer feel the urge to procreate and have a little one of my own. My clock ticks and tocks as I move ever closer to my empty nest. I'm preparing myself, nesting as it were, just as I did in the beginning when it first began, but this time its about preparing to let them go.
I've done all I can to ready them for what comes, and now I have to trust that they have taken the good, filtered out the bad, and will simply learn the rest. We each have our own journeys to travel and as a parent I hope I have provided the guidance and core that my boys need to draw on as they set out on their own personal journeys. My nest will be empty, but they can always come home to visit and they will always know they have a place to land, should they ever need it. Just because they fly away doesn't mean I stop being a mom. My job is forever! The scope of the work is changing a bit as I settle in to my new promotion, but I'll get used to it.
I thought that the looming empty nest would be more terrifying and depressing. But I am working hard to find alternative ways to fill my time and am discovering that although life will look different and feel different daily, it will still be full and active. Its up to me to find my glass half full.
As my sons journeys take off, there will celebrations and events to share with them. There will be challenges and victories, and as mom, I will always be available to be their sounding board and their greatest fan. There will be daughter-in-laws and grandchildren, birthdays and holidays, dinners, and simple pop-in visits. Life will continue and flourish. And my glass will remain half full.
The only constant we can count on is change. We have to accept that life is always changing. We raise our children to be ready for adulthood and then we let them go. Its our charge! We accept all the job comes with when we become mothers. We accept the joy and pain, the laughter and the tears. But the payoff is huge. We get the immeasurable honor and pride of watching them as they grow into adults and people we are in awe of. We look at them and think to ourselves how amazing the journey has been.
My nest is about to be empty. My clock continues to tick tock and I smile knowing that whatever come tomorrow is still part of the journey. It never ends, its simply changes.
I've done all I can to ready them for what comes, and now I have to trust that they have taken the good, filtered out the bad, and will simply learn the rest. We each have our own journeys to travel and as a parent I hope I have provided the guidance and core that my boys need to draw on as they set out on their own personal journeys. My nest will be empty, but they can always come home to visit and they will always know they have a place to land, should they ever need it. Just because they fly away doesn't mean I stop being a mom. My job is forever! The scope of the work is changing a bit as I settle in to my new promotion, but I'll get used to it.
I thought that the looming empty nest would be more terrifying and depressing. But I am working hard to find alternative ways to fill my time and am discovering that although life will look different and feel different daily, it will still be full and active. Its up to me to find my glass half full.
As my sons journeys take off, there will celebrations and events to share with them. There will be challenges and victories, and as mom, I will always be available to be their sounding board and their greatest fan. There will be daughter-in-laws and grandchildren, birthdays and holidays, dinners, and simple pop-in visits. Life will continue and flourish. And my glass will remain half full.
The only constant we can count on is change. We have to accept that life is always changing. We raise our children to be ready for adulthood and then we let them go. Its our charge! We accept all the job comes with when we become mothers. We accept the joy and pain, the laughter and the tears. But the payoff is huge. We get the immeasurable honor and pride of watching them as they grow into adults and people we are in awe of. We look at them and think to ourselves how amazing the journey has been.
My nest is about to be empty. My clock continues to tick tock and I smile knowing that whatever come tomorrow is still part of the journey. It never ends, its simply changes.
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