Would I do That?....Probably not.

A few weeks, on my way into the office, I saw a man hanging in a harness off the side of a high rise in downtown Portland near Pioneer Square.  He was hanging the white twinkling lights we all love to see during the holidays along the eaves and around the Clock tower.  A respectable job for certain, and one which brings light and joy to passers-by. Its one of those elements of the holiday spirit that we all enjoy and never stop to think about. We forget there is a person who risks life and limb to provide us with a smile.

I say life and limb, and you might think I am over exaggerating, but let me assure you I am not. You see this man, was not just hanging in his harness, stable and moving along side to side as he hung the pretty white twinkling lights, but something had gone amiss! Terribly wrong, because this man was swinging like a pendulum in a grandfather clock on crack, back and forth, side to side, forward and back. It appeared that one of the cables had snapped or kinked, or something, but it was terrifying to watch, and I would assume, even more terrifying to experience.   I assume they rescued him without injury to body because I didn't see anything about the incident in the news or read anything about in the newspaper (and I work for the newspaper).

I find myself thinking about this man, and wondering if he came to work the next day, or decided that it was just too much. Was his brush with death a wake up call? And then I think about jobs I simply could not physically or mentally bring myself to do. I don't mean the kind of jobs that you just don't want to do, but instead I am referring to the jobs that you KNOW are simply an impossibility in your realm of capable.

I'll start with the obvious:

1. I could not do any job which requires me to hang off the side of a building or from any high structure with simply a harness or bucket or scaffold to support me. This includes window washers, billboard pasting, painting, construction, bridge maintenance, mountain goat herding, rappelling down cliffs or Spelunking in caves to retrieve geological samples, elevator shaft maintenance, etc. You get the gist, dangling from a high elevation no matter the contraption, it simply isn't going to happen without serious and unsanitary repercussions if you get my drift.
2.  Sewer maintenance, or any profession that deals with waste products of any kind. With my sense of smell and that overactive gag reflex I wrote about once in an earlier blog, this job or any like it, are truly an impossibility. Even the thought of the smells that emanate from the sewer, septic tanks, bad plumbing, trash cans, compost bins, etc., they all trigger a serious case of the retches simply in my imagination. I would die from esophageal erosion due to the mere amount of stomach acid that would pass through my gullet repeatedly many many times a day. It would be a short career indeed.
3. I also would not be able to do anything that requires me to crawl through, or spend extended time in a tight space. No tunnels, mines, or capsules. Nothing underwater, or where I feel like my movement is limited and confined. No masks because they make feel like I am being suffocated. Though I am fascinated by the idea of submarines, pyramids, and space travel, none would suit me well, because the enclosed space would drive me to the edge of insanity.

In summary, jobs I could not do include; anything dealing with heights minus 4 walls; anything dealing with bad smells or grossology; and anything dealing with confined space and movement resulting in severe and intense claustrophobic panic. Additionally nothing athletic, or that requires coordination or precise hand movement. I don't do pictures of me, so anything in the entertainment or media industry that would require face time, is out. Though I wouldn't mind being behind the scenes. :)

I'm sure there are all kinds of mainstream and obscure careers out there that simply would not suit me. Not because I'm picky, but because I don't have the psychology to do them.

Swinging like a rag doll from a high rise while hanging Christmas lights, is a definite non career option for me.