Emptying the nest........

 

I have been mom for nearly 21 years.  Longer than that if you count the 9 months I carried my oldest son.  Being mom has been the biggest and most important part of my identity for so long, that I am realizing it's going to be quite the shift for me to rediscover and invent a new me.

Brandon moved out into his first apartment last week, and it was harder than I thought it would be.  Leading up to the move, I was all helpful and instructive.  Typical mom stuff.  But at the end of the day when we were all done and sat down together at Round Table to have a little Pizza for dinner after a long hard day of moving, it hit me.   When we parted ways after dinner, he would be going 'HOME".  Not to my home, the only home he ever knew, but to "HIS HOME". His place, his space. And the damn broke and tears started slowly trickling down my cheeks. I tried to silently sturdy myself and smile, but everyone noticed anyway. Brandon, reassured me that he would visit and stop by often and that he loved me,  but in the moment all I could feel was panic.

I know that being 'Mom" never ends. I trust that my children will always need me in some way or other, but my role was shifting, and as proud as I was, I was also sad, and like any mom, worried.  Who would make sure he took the dishes out of his bedroom and into the kitchen?  Who would make sure the dishes got cleaned and put away. Who would clean the bathroom? Who would make sure he ate and had clean clothes to wear. Who would wake him up for work and school and remind him to do his homework? The answer to everything became "he would".

I have spent 21 years preparing him to be an adult, to start his own life and build his own future and the starting gun just went off.  On your Mark..Get set...Go. His journey is just beginning while a part of mine draws to a close.

I have one child left and only a handful of time  before he too starts his journey.  My marathon is coming to an end and I'm not clear on what comes next.

Can Jeff and I find things to fill the emptiness in my heart and home? I think so...he has committed and promised to help me through it. But I feel a little lost directionally. Right or left...North is South and East is West.  I know there are great adventures left to be experienced, but even with all the warning we get as young mothers that someday they will leave....I don't think we are ever truly prepared.  Maybe  we are not supposed to be. If it was easy to let go, then what kind of mother would I be?

No matter what path they take, all I can do is make sure my sons know, that I am always here for them. All they need do is ask.

My nest is one bird shy today and soon it will be empty. Its inevitable and scary but really makes me proud too.

Serenity

I have never been an alcoholic or an addict. I think I just don't have the attention span to maintain an addictive personality. Its not a judgement against anyone. I have great empathy and respect for those who struggle with addiction and overcome it, I just have never dealt with it personally.  I do however appreciate some of the mantras they follow in their path to enlightenment and recovery. The Serenity prayer is actually quite inspiring and applicable to so many challenges we all face in life. It is beautiful and if taken seriously can truly result in a comforting peace and calm.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

I can change my underwear, my hair color, and my shoes. I can change jobs, homes, and even my eye color if I want to thanks to color contact lenses. I can change my toothpaste, my diet, and my morning routine.  These are all things I can change and feel good about them. They are tangible and simple.

I can also change more complex things. I can change the way I handle adversity when it comes my way. I can chose to see the glass as half full instead of half empty. I can chose to change relationships in all aspects of my life, if they make me unhappy or feel unhealthy, by letting them go.  I can change my expectations by accepting reality and letting go of fantasy.  These are all more difficult changes,  but with dedication and effort they too can be accomplished and better my life.

I can accept the things I cannot change. I can't change the weather, so I accept it and find beauty in every season. I can't change other people and the way they chose to see the world and specifically me, so I let them go. I can't change the past, its already happened, and can't be undone, so I chose to hold tight to the hard earned wisdom of its' lessons. I can't change whatever fate has in store for me, though through a series of choices I might be able to alter it, so I run forward with the determination to make every day, every experience worth it.

Life is odd but wonderful, painful but rewarding all at the same time. You can waste years of your life waiting for others to accept you. You can question yourself, your worth, your existence, even your place in life based on the rejection or acceptance of others.   But in the end, the only person who has to accept you, is yourself. If you can look in the mirror each day and see someone worthy, then you are on the path to Serenity. You can't change the hearts of others. Rather family, friend, or simple acquaintance, it is only within your power to change you.  If someone or something causes you to feel bad, change it. Walk away and don't look back.

Serenity is a goal we should all reach to attain. It makes sense in a world fraught with challenge. Change only what you can and accept that which you cannot. Learn to identify which is which and you will be a whole lot happier.

Spring Forward....Why?

Spring has sprung and I can feel it in my bones. Its in the air, you can smell it.

The clouds yield way to more frequent blue skies. There is a briskness in the morning air that gives lead to more comfortable albeit still cool but not cold days.  The plumeria, jasmine, and lavender all begin to bloom.  Winter is slowly packing it's bags and heading out, though not without one or two final cold fronts. And days are once again longer.

I love this time of year.  The grass is thick and green and the smell of fresh mowed lawns fills the air.  The daffodils are the first thing to bloom and  they remind me it's time to plant the tomatoes. 

But with spring comes daylight savings time.  Here I am two weeks in and I still haven't found that hour I lost. And that leaves me to question, Why exactly did I lose it? I understand the history of Daylight savings and the ill advised logic that resulted in it (thank you Benjamin Franklin), but why do we continue it still?  Not everyone observes it and that only helps to confuse matters in world time. The hours of sunlight will get longer with the season rather we change the clocks or not. Is it really necessary to adjust the clocks so that we still have light of day at 9:30 p.m.? I am all for setting my clock and leaving it year round. The day is 24 hours no matter how you slice it, and the sun will rise and set, so let it be.  By the way, if anybody finds my lost hour of sleep that happened when time sprang forward, please return it. I could seriously use it.

With spring comes track and field events at the high school. The dogs are shedding their winter coats so when I bathe them the tub turns into a hairy monster. The squirrels are once again running the fence, leaping onto the top of the bird feeder to knock the roof off and eat the seed inside. The ants are coming out of hibernation and exploring the kitchen counter and cupboards as well as the bathroom for nonexistent food sources. Do I kill them or let them carry the message back to their queen that their efforts are futile? If I kill them and they don't make it back, she will just send more. Aww, screw it, I'm killing them. Have you ever noticed that they smell like black licorice when you squash them. Odd.

Spring is about throwing off the heavy covers of winter and making things fresh and light and clean.  This week I will clean out closets, windex the windows, and de-clutter (though I don't really clutter to begin with).

Jeff turns 48 on Friday and our month long celebration will finally draw to a close. It's been fun, but time to move on to another event. Easter is right around the corner. Yet another key sign of spring.

I'm feeling the need for a some lightening of the load and thinning of the cupboards.  I'll get on right on that. What will you do to make thing feel fresh and new this spring?

Tumblelina

Its not an error in spelling, its all about the tumble. Just call me Tumblelina or perhaps that Should be TumbleLisa?  Interesting.....

Truth is, we all know I fall down a lot. This is no surprise...and its not even worthy of conversation anymore than breathing or nose-blowing may be.   It is however what happens WHEN I fall down that becomes the baffling mystery.  "How did you do that?" is a question I hear frequently enough that it makes me wonder just how much of an oddity I am?  Does no one else experience the same proclivity for injury through contortions as I do?

So Sprocket was not feeling well and went to the vet yesterday. As he was still feeling poorly last night and had another appointment this morning, I found myself in the kitchen preparing to give him medicine for pain. Bear with me.. I'm getting to the point......Well leave it to me to find that one spot on the floor that is wet, for whatever unexplainable reason, and naturally I slip and fall.  Naturally!   Its not a small quiet or graceful fall, but epic and I'm sure ugly to see. I knock over the trash can on my way down and manage to pull the kitchen towel off of the oven too.  One knee goes forward and loses a few layers of skin in the process while the other leg goes behind me and the foot somehow twists in such a fashion that I land on the top of it while it sits at an unusual angle. I didn't know my foot, or anyone's foot for that matter, could bend that way.  Isn't that odd?

 So as I gather my wits and prepare to upright myself, my 16 year old, shaking his head in wonderment and complete amazement, picks up the trash can and the mess I've created. I guess this is normal to him by now. As I grasp the door of the oven to pull myself off the floor I realize with a sudden jolt that I can't place any pressure on or rely on the assistance of my left foot. The pain is searing and though I don't see any of the telltale instant swelling or bruising of a sprain, the pain is not in my imagination.  Oh yes, its real.

Wyatt helps me to the couch and sets about creatively designing tools for me to utilize around the house.  He designs a makeshift crutch from the broom with a towel and a belt, but its too tall for me. Next he makes a cane from a sword and a towel and belt.  This works better. Then he abandons and hides out in his room before I can start asking him to do things for me.  That diet coke isn't going to grow legs and walk to me, you know. Looks like I'm on my own, with my sword cane.

Long story short...I managed to fracture a teeny tine bone on the top of my foot. They want me to RICE (Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevate) and to wear a boot.  But the boots are clunky and not at all fashionable.  I think I'll do the best I can with the RICE and suck it up.  I'm tough. If sprocket can face his ailments like a trooper then so can I.  The Boot just isn't going to work for me.

The best part of the whole story is....I was right.  My foot, no foot, is supposed to bend that way.

Blah Blah Blah...Whatever

Sometimes people like to talk just to hear themselves.  They go on and on about all sorts of idealistic things, just to give the impression that they are noble and kind. I'll grant you sometimes the gestures are genuine, but if you can't put your money where your mouth is, as they say, then its all lip service and noise.

I must admit that when I listen to these people, same stories, same complaints, same pulpit, day after day, I begin to tune them out. 

It can be through the spoken word or the written word, but what I see and hear, short of a call to action, is...Blah blah blah...Whatever.

Here is the trick to capturing the attention of others and keeping it.  Follow through.  If you talk about climbing Mount Everest, then do it and document the journey. If you want to travel to Africa and live with an indigenous tribe, then book your trip and write about everything you see and learn.   If you want to build a rocket and establish the first colony on the moon, well that's a pretty lofty dream, but o.k. do it.

My point is, that regurgitating the same gruel time after time, absent of any action, makes the time wasted complaining and/or telling the story, just that....wasted. This goes for both dreams and complaints.

If life keeps giving you lemons at every turn, then stop complaining about it and make some damn lemonade but don't forget to add the sugar.

If you want to fix a relationship, be close to someone, or bridge a distance, modern technology is on your side. There are ways to reach out called computers and telephones. They have been around for some time now and are highly functional and reliable.  If all you have are excuses for why something is broken, then don't waste the time of those within ears reach recounting how unjust life is. There are no excuses for broken connections outside of personal choice.

If you hate your job and those you work with, well, either make a change, or suck it up. I can respect the person who is dissatisfied but biding their time while actively, diligently seeking something new. But the person who complains and does nothing....well its no different than the man who complains that hard boiled eggs give him a belly ache and yet he eats a hard boiled egg everyday. If you fail to make the effort to change what you are unhappy with, then its yours to own.

I love to hear others and share my own thoughts and experiences and moments, but I have a short attention span when it comes to hearing the same recycled material over and over.  Forward momentum, is a necessity in life or the danger lies in everything you say translating to Blah blah blah...whatever

Idiosyncratic

Quirks. We all have them.  Little details in our lives and daily activities that, when right, help the world to "make sense".  But out of whack,  and step aside, heads may roll.

O.k., maybe not that severe, but you never know.

Here are some of my quirks.

• The toilet paper roll should roll over the top not under the bottom. Likewise the paper towels in the kitchen should do the same. 
• Kitchen hand towels and other decorator towels should never show the inner seems or tags. 
• Bath towels on the linnen shelves should all be folded the same way facing the same direction.
• Faucets should be wiped clean and dry after using to prevent water spots. Likewise, the same should  go for the sinks themselves. 
• Squeegee the walls of the shower when done to prevent water spots and residue buildup. 
• When cleaning and dusting, don't forget the baseboards and door knobs.
• Dirty clothes should always be turned right side out (unless the tags say otherwise) including socks to facilitate more efficient folding when they are done.
• Silverware in the drawer should always face the same way. 
• Can food should be organized by category and then alphabetical. For instance, soups together, vegetables together, etc. 
• Socks and underwear should be folded and organized by color as should hanging clothes, t-shirts and sweatshirts. 

Granted, I'm pretty extreme, but I'm sure some of these souind familiar and you have your own.  There are probably a hundred more I havent listed, simply because I am freak enough without them. :)

Varying degrees...No two alike

I recently found myself in a situation that reminded me that each of us is unique. Though we may share similar traits, characteristics, afflictions, interests, and experiences, those similarities simply have the power to bring us together, but we are still one-of-a-kinds.

Each of us face trials and tribulations which are pre-destined but also those which are the result of choices and steps we have taken along the way.  Each event and experience in our life impacts and changes our outcome.

I lost someone recently who shared a common medical trait with me. I won't lie, it freaked me out.  All I could could feel at first was a mix of overwhelming sadness mixed with paralyzing fear. And then I took a breath. I paused and thought for a moment how illogical I was being.  You see, though two people may share a common diagnosis, their paths and outcomes may be vastly different.

There are varying degrees to any illness. Those degrees can fluctuate based on life style, emotional state, outlook,  life choices past/present/and future. Degrees can change based on age, diet, & treatment. Though there may be similarities in symptoms, how our bodies respond can be as unique as an individual fingerprint or DNA.

Sharing traits may help bring people together, but you can't live your life in fear based on someone else experience. Birds of a feather may flock together, but they still fly on their own wing power.

Think about it.  You get a common cold and so does your spouse/partner...but you feel better in 48 hours.. on the mend and back to normal, while their symptoms linger for a week. You take the same medicine, but your bodies react differently.  The same is true of things more serious like bipolar disorder, depression, cancer, lupus, arthritis, crohns disease, and so on and so on.....

The point is we are each unique in who we are but also in how we respond to affliction and life in general. There are varying degrees to everything and no two situations, anywhere in all the world, are the same. Don't allow fear to debilitate you or to dictate your choices. Be smart, be responsible, but don't forget to live.

Be grateful for every day you have in life, because regardless of how healthy you are, things happen.  None of us knows how long we have to be here, so don't waste the gift you've been given.

I've said it before, I'll say it again.....Live! Love! Laugh! and don't forget to simply breathe.

The Circus Project.....

I recently attended an event hosted by Business for Culture and the Arts, a non profit organization in Portland who support the arts in the community through business funding and volunteerism. It's actually quite a successful organization and worthy of the time and efforts it encourages and fosters.

I filled out a survey when I registered for the event indicating where my interests lie and they assigned me three organizations to check in with during the course of the event.

One of my organizations was "The Circus Project".  The table was very busy and the only one of my three assignments I never truly completed, but I did stop by many times.  Because I never truly got the chance to speak with them directly, I googled them to gain a better understanding of who they are and what they do.

The Circus Project is actually a nonprofit that offers circus and performing arts training to homeless and at-risk youths while focusing on personal development, work-study and relationship building -- in short, helping kids get back on track. Worthy indeed.

I was actually inspired and comforted to realize that there are so many programs in our community similar to this with the goal of reaching out and touching the lives of children and young adults who would never otherwise have the opportunity or gift of being introduced to the arts.

O.k.....now on to my blog for the day......The Circus Project......I must confess the name alone conjured images of my home life and sparked my imagination into full speed as I could name the various acts of great danger and challenge I endeavor and face in day to day life. 

We have clowns in cars. Its our own version complete with foul smells, inappropriate humor, a battle for music, talk radio (that would be Jeff), and backseat drivers.

We have Lion Tamers, which in truth could be any one of us as we deal with the bad attitudes of another housemate who has had a bad day at any given moment.

We have stilt walkers (its a reach but my boys are both over 6 feet tall after all). Aerial Feats and Acrobatics as those same boys use only their height and upper body strength to get into the attic instead of waiting for a ladder. Also as part of their Acrobatic act, they like the climbing up on the roof and pretending to battle in a zombiepocalypse with their light sabers and Japanese swords and daggers (tear in my eye, makes a mother proud.....lol). 

There are knives and fire and dog tricks.

Yes...I have my very own Circus Project happening right under my roof. It may not be as altruistic as the Nonprofit organization helping at risk kids and youth, but it is a never ending source of entertainment and death defying feats (you see...sometimes I want to kill someone when I see the black boot marks on my hallway walls).

I wouldn't trade my years in the circus for any thing.  I am the ringmaster and I wear my Hat and tails with pride.

Are We on the Same Page?

"Are we on the Same Page"? You've heard the phrase or some translation of it many times in life. The gist of the question being, are we of one mind; thinking alike; same ideals; same goals; moving in the same direction together?

Its a simple question really. But complex too.  If the answer is no, then you might be opening a can of worms. It could be as simple as a logical discussion of pros and cons intended to sway one or the other back into synchronicity. But it could also mean hours of bickering and hurt feelings, and tet-a-te` back and forth until someone buckles just to end the argument.

Being on the "Same Page" as a couple is nice! But not at the expense and compromise of what you truly believe. Saying you're on the "Same Page" and Being on the "Same Page" are quite different animals. In fact they are not even of the same species.

Agreeing for the sake of avoiding a disagreement may work for the short term, but is not a long term solution. In the end, the truth wins out and resentments rear their ugly heads.

Its o.k to have differing viewpoints as long as they are respectful and together a mutual compromise can be attained. The key word here is MUTUAL.  Its about give and take on both sides.  Sometimes people share the same goals but have different ideas of how to accomplish them.  In essence they are in the same book, but maybe not on the  "Same Page".

Being on the  "Same Page" is rare. Its nice, but its rare. We all turn the pages in life, just as in a book, at different paces. The rules of attraction say "opposites attract". Therefore the idea and likelihood of being on the "Same Page" as your partner every time, is pretty slim.

Here are the things I love about my partner and my communications:

• I  love it when we are close but no cigar. They say close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades, well we get close enough to throw hand grenades at the horseshoes and smoke a cigar afterwards. :)
• I love it when we finish each others sentences as this indicates like minds
• I love it we think of the same thing for dinner
• I love it when we crack the same joke, or make the same snide remark at the same time
• I love that we share many of the same hopes for our future and that even those that don't align to perfection, are close enough to count
• I love it when, even though we disagree, we don't harbor a grudge and we move on, still side by side, still together.
• I love that we share separate interests that allow us to be individuals and yet still US.

Are we on the same page. I think we may just be. Different paragraph, different lines perhaps , but same page????.......Yes. 

Freezing Time

The alarm goes off and the familiar buzz wakes you from a dream that just felt comfortable.  You can't remember the details, the good ones are always fuzzy, but you know it was nice.  As you tuck your leg back under the covers the sheets are cool from the morning air and you snuggle in for just or two more snooze buttons. As you curl up, your legs tangle with those of your love, and you relish in the comforting thought that you are not alone. Life is good.

You curl up in the warmth of each other as you gradually ascend from sleep into the waking hours and ready to face the day ahead and you smile.

There are days and moments that I would love to freeze in time, just stop everything and be in that moment for long enough that I'm prepared for whatever lies ahead.  Pulling strength and courage to guide me through the obstacles in the road. Life is challenge. What goes up , must eventually come down, but then things always go up again.  Its the cycle of life. The way we learn and grow and develop a deep and clear appreciation and understanding for how lucky we are.

It was only a few weeks ago I was happy one day and the very next I felt as though my world was crumbling around me. Lies and deception, secrets and half truths, always come back to bite us, and this time they threatened the peace and happiness I thought I had found. I could have run away, or buried my head in the sand. I could have drawn conclusions and rejected all explanation or discussion. But...I chose to stand and face it....head on.  It wasn't pretty and it wasn't comfortable. There were some truly gritty moments and some painful revelations. But like any challenge we face in life, it was temporary. As long you face the challenge and commit to a resolution, you will always find one. Some solutions may take a different path than you dream of, but often times, you can reforge a path back to where you want to be.

Three weeks ago, the future was hazy, but today its clear, the skies are bright and the air is fresh.  My heart is content, and I am happy.

I am at a freezing point.  A point in which I feel complete, content, and confident in where I am and who I am with. Its a point I want to lock in, so that the next time I have doubts, I can draw on this moment.

We all face demons, doubts, poor choices, but its how we deal with those experiences and those of the ones we love, that determine where we come out in the end.

Its easy to walk away when things get tough, but its so much more rewarding to see things through, fight for what we want, and save what can be saved.

Just my two sense worth for the day.............

Preserving the Date...Does it Matter?

Remember when you were a little kid and you looked forward to your birthday each year.  You couldn't wait to have friends over, or for the house to be decorated with brightly hued streamers and balloons. You couldn't wait for the cake and ice cream that inevitably accompanied the celebration and the candles waiting to blown out as you made a wish each year.  Birthdays presents in vibrant papers, shiny with bows were waiting for you and your birthday was sacred. It was a day to celebrate being you!

As we get older, birthdays become reminders of the years gone by. They remind us that we are no longer young and that many of our tomorrows have come and gone.  The excitement and joy are replaced with indifference and a general lack of enthusiasm. We want others to remember our birthdays, no body likes to be forgotten, but we don't necessarily embrace the idea of a large celebration.

As adults we frequently find the surprise of a birthday present absent. We know what we have asked for and often help to pick it out.  And therein lies my dilemma today.......

March 29th marks Jeff's 48th birthday.  This weekend we were out and about shopping with my tax return, when I decided.. why not kill two birds with one stone and just take care of his birthday present at the same time? Well, for future reference, why not is simple. It's because if I have a present early he wants it early.  Yes my soon to be 48 year old love of my life has suddenly reverted to his 6 year old self.  He is excited and giddy and turns every conversation into an opportunity to plead his case for an early birthday present. He ever so smoothly slides in his argument any where he can and he plays puppy dog eyes and smiles to help harness the power of his request.

My dilemma is clear, ....endure 26 days of non-stop pleading and make him suffer, or reward his bad behavior and impatience with an early present relying on dinner and private time to highlight the actual birthday itself? What to do?

Part of me wants to give him his present, because I know it will make him smile. But the other part of me wants to make him wait.

Should I preserve the date of his birthday for traditional rules and celebration, or at 48 does it matter as long as someone says happy birthday?

The History Channel...Sunday TV

My Sunday nights just got busier.  AS if my weekend isn't already jam packed enough with  activity and things to do....No I have to sit down and watch two new miniseries...back to back on the History Channel.

First up "The Bible".  Who knew Noah was of Scottish dissent..that accent was unmistakable. :)  Actually unlike many of the productions intended and presented over the years, this portrayal has a very real and gritty feel to it.  They do seem to fast forward in a herky jerky sort of fashion skipping some rather significant details, but I guess if they took the time to tell it all, it could never be done in 10 hours.  So far we have made it through to the end of Moses time.  I appreciate the way they portrayed God's test of Abraham, and the fall of Sodom was also done well. Moses was a little over the top, sort of Charlton Heston inspired I think, but none the less, overall it was done o.k..  I think I'll stick with it and see where it goes as the episodes continue. 

Next up was "Vikings".  This was actually really entertaining. I enjoy this genre of story very much. So I was excited to tune in.  Gabriel Byrne is one of my favorite actors. I think he becomes who he plays. This was no different, he does not disappoint.  I am in all the way for this mini series and hope to see it win recognition for its efforts.

Speaking of Religion, Jeff and I don't ascribe to any congregation at this point of our lives.  Its not that we aren't spiritual, but rather that we are disillusioned with the "business" of organized religion.  We do start every Sunday morning in bed by tuning in briefly to Dr. Charles Stanley and Jeff really likes him. We don't watch the entire broadcast, typically just long enough to understand his message for the week and garner the key points.  It always prompts an intellectual and honest discussion over breakfast for the day.  Yesterday the message was about fear.  How we as a generation were all raised to fear God, fear challenge and adversity, fear the unknown, fear tomorrow, fear death, fear being unforgiven.  The message was about letting go of fear, and understanding that fear only leads to more fear.  Lay it down, put it aside and trust that things will simply work out. They always do.  Jeff really liked this and found it easy to relate to.  We may not migrate to the chapel, but we still tune in for the message and sometimes it connects.

Also speaking of religion, in a bizarre way, last nights episode of "The Walking Dead" had its own religious undertones. The gist being, "the Meek shall inherit the Earth", but that's not always a good thing. It might be because they were too week and unwilling to commit to a purpose or a side in whatever battles lie ahead? AS Morgan said.."The good die, the bad die too, but those of us too weak to decide, we have to live with our choices everyday".  It was a prolific episode in the series, and a turning point for Rick and his misfits.  I think seeing Morgan, woke Rick up from his stupor and gave him a view of who he was becoming if he didn't snap out of his wallowing.  I also enjoyed seeing a softer side of Michon. She almost seemed human when she helped Carl retrieve a family photo for his baby sister. Good season so far. Now it times to take down the Governor. :)

So...I know it sounds like I am a couch potato consumed by TV, but the truth is, I watch it all on the go.  Dashing here and there, cooking, cleaning, helping with homework, you know.....Multitasking. It wouldn't get done without me, but a little mindless entertainment is nice.

Humor...What Defines It?

More and More as my boys leave the innocence of childhood behind and the gentle humor of knock knock jokes and silly unoffensive pranks, I find myself exposed to  what they now consider humor as young adult men.

It's not pretty. 

Though noxious gases and the sounds that emit them have always been funny to my sons, the humor has expanded to more disturbingly gross things.

One of their favorite comedians is Daniel Tosh of Tosh.O on comedy central.  I find myself losing control of the remote when he is on and however occupied they might be with friends, homework, video games, eating, etc., when Tosh comes on, they migrate to the living room.  Its like birds flying south for the winter, they just know.  

Now I try to be the cool mom, you know the one who rolls with it all and can find humor in even the most absurd things. But no matter how hard I try, I have never been able to make it through a full episode of this show without covering my eyes, leaving the room, plugging my ears, or a combination of all three.  I have a dark and twisted sense of humor, its true, but even I have limits.

I genuinely can't muster the tolerance or embrace the idea that vomit or poop from a grown up is funny. Its not. And replaying that 19 year old kid throwing up in a never ending loop 20 times, does not result in hilarity. Unless of course, you ask my sons, who somehow de-evolve for this brief 30 minute period each week and find it the funniest thing ever.  That is of course unless something poop related happens, and that's even funnier.

I can accept the humor and even laugh with the Jeselnik Offensive, or Tosh.O's web redemption segments. But poop and vomit will never be funny to me. Call me a stick in the mud, but it doesn't take visual assault to make something funny. Funny is wit , and there is nothing witty about puke or diarrhea.

Entertain me with a well timed verbal delivery however sensitive or politically incorrect the topic may be, and I will reward you with laughter. I simply can't board the puke/poop train.

I love and adore my boys, but there are moments when I wonder, really? You find THAT funny?????

Say what you Mean and Mean what you Say

Have you ever known someone who talks the talk but doesn't walk the walk.  They spout all the right platitudes about love, forgiveness, family, etc... but its just words.  They stand on their pulpit and say all the right things, but have no intent to ever truly follow through or be accountable to the covenants they speak.  It's the equivalent of crossing their fingers behind their backs so that they can call out "just kidding".

These individuals are usually the most self righteous and judgmental in our populace, though in all fairness, it is a small percentage. They sit back and red flag every flaw and every mistake made by others through subtle critiques and snide comments,  but they fail to recognize or acknowledge their own shortcomings.  They see themselves as better than others and even go so far as to let it slip occasionally publicly, that they think so. 

This is the family member, co worker, neighbor or friend, who calls you an alcoholic for drinking a few drinks now and again, but then they go home and drink every night.  They are the ones who say "we need to make more effort to get to know each other" and then decline every opportunity to do so.  

This is the person who offers counsel to others on any array of topics from health, to family, to raising children, to work ethic, but if you peel back the layers, you discover they have a dark and stormy history of their own which, they have never owned but continually run from.  They make excuses, which when examined more closely are like water sieves, full of holes. They invent imaginary wrongs done to them by others and  justify rejection through the fiction they create.

These are the Hypocrites and Bull Shitter's who sit on their moral pedestals portending to be open minded and noble, but secretly undermine the value and efforts of others.  They can only elevate themselves by tearing down others, but they play the game well enough to manipulate and draw in those who benefit their position and validate their claims.

Here's the truth...We are ALL flawed.  Rejection, Judgement, and Pridefulness are simply fear, jealousy, or weakness, manifested. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am an open book and open door to those who accept me without conditions, all others...the door is closed and the deadbolt latched.

Have you ever known someone who talks the talk but doesn't walk the walk? I do. Hypocrites and Bull Shitter's are a dime a dozen, don't be one. Be strong enough to say what you mean and mean what you say and know the difference.