1.Is that the
alarm? Crap, maybe if I just pretend I don’t hear it, Jeff will let me sleep
2.What day is it? Ah, I really should get up, I have to go to work. But I have 2 minutes, 2 glorious minutes.
3. Is that the alarm? Crap, I only closed my eyes for 2 minutes, Why did Jeff let me sleep, he should have woke me up.
4. Where are my other tennis shoes? No not those, the other ones? Ahh there they are.
5. Why do I have 300 pairs of socks, I only have 1 pair feet? I’ll wear the argyles. Have you seen my argyles? I know I have 300 other pairs, but I want the grey and black argyles, they match my blouse. Maybe that’s why I have so many, they match things. NO, I can’t wear the pink argyles they are Easter socks and this is September, o.k. maybe, yah I’ll just wear the pink ones.
6. I hate jeans fresh from the laundry, the waste is always too snug? Stretch it out.
7. My jeans are to snug I don’t want to bend over to put my socks and shoes on, where are my tom-toms? I found one but I can’t find the other one, oh there it is right where I found the first one.
8. Have you seen my purse, I can’t find my purse. Oh thanks, it’s on the floor by the chair where I left it in plain sight. What would I do without Jeff?
9. Have you seen my keys? I can’t find my keys? Oh thanks, they are on the key hook where they should have been. I’m so used to leaving them in my purse I couldn’t find them. What would I do without Jeff?
10. How about my phone? Plugged into the charger, well THAT makes sense.
11. Why is the ground wet, oh my gosh, did it rain? Well duh, how else did the entire ground get wet. Stupid question.
12. I hate bra’s, whoever invented them did it as a torture device to women. I can’t wait to get home and take this thing off. I should have worn socks and tennis shoes, my feet are cold.
And I haven’t even left the driveway yet…...
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