Empathy - Portland Homeless

Why is it so hard for us to find empathy for those around us.? This morning, as any other morning, I saw a presumably homeless man on the corner holding his sign, waiting for drivers to donate to his cause. The mere fact that I would use the word "presumably" is a sign of my own doubt and desensitization.

It seems these days that there is a sign on every corner and it makes me wonder about the individuals holding them.  Is this simply their "career" choice? A way to make a living, tax free. Subjecting oneself to humility and scorn, if you clear $40k tax free a year, would it be worth it?

There are tell tale signs that might indicate some are not as down and destitute as they portend.  Shoes, Clothes, Pets, Manicured Nails, hair color (and for one woman extensions), Do they carry a small backpack (not homeless) or the homeless bundle defined by the abundance of blankets and often found in a cart or a tent nearby? Does that sound judgmental? It's truly not meant to be. But I saw one of the
"broke and homeless, anything helps" women, get into her well cared for and clutter free 2008 SUV two days ago and drive away at the end of her shift on the 205 X Glisan  off-ramp. Homeless? You tell me.

Its clear that some of these individuals have no ethic or moral compass, and think they have found a way to cheat the system.  I suppose in a really depraved and reprehensible way its really smart.They make enough money to drive nice vehicles, carry smart phones with data plans, and go out to dinner frequently. I'm sure these same individuals are amongst the percentage of growing population who receive public assistance, attend college on federal grant monies, and claim to be unable to provide for themselves without the aid of such programs. Many live better and more affluent lives than some of us who work every day trying to make ends meet the respectable and honest way.

The saddest part of this whole phenomenon is that there really are homeless people who need our help. Who have no family, no place to go, and are starving,. They sleep on sidewalks and in alleys and beneath freeway overpasses. They crave a hot meal and warm shower but the shelters are few and far between and overflowing.  Homeless Dan, a Vietnam Vet who works the 5 north on-ramp at the end of Interstate just before Interstate Bridge, is out there every day with his tent and broken bicycle in the trees neatly bound.  He's there every day when not fighting the cancer that is slowly taking his life but not his spirit. You can tell when he's doing well and when he's not , the telltale weight gain and loss, in addition to the hair loss, and the dark circles under his eyes. Even so, he has his pride and he wears the cleanest clothes he can find and always smells of soap as though he finds a way to bathe daily. Dan is one of the few genuinely grateful and true homeless, who will take, with greatest of dignity, anything you can give. He is not afraid to stay at a shelter if he can get a cot. I have given him coats, and shoes, and even a Thanksgiving meal one year. Its not much, but he is always kind and gracious.  He doesn't smell of smoke and booze, but of a man who needs a kind word and helping hand.

Unfortunately, it is increasingly more difficult to find the "Dan's" in this community. I want to give, I want to care, I want to not be insensitive. But I will not contribute to a tobacco habit, an alcohol problem, a drug addiction, or a home where the individuals are capable and able bodied and mentally stable enough to hold a job, however menial, however humble.

With some shame and sorrow I admit, I now avert my eyes, from these career pan handlers. I have not given in a very long while and I find it disturbing that an increasing percentage of our society are embracing this as a choice instead of a means of survival and last resort. It has taken away from the truly broken and in need souls, who have lost their way, or met some terrible misfortune. Less of us give, because more and more we doubt the validity and genuine need.

Does anyone else find themselves suspicious, full of disgust and derision for the farce and dishonesty of many of these role players? I want to have empathy, to care about my fellow man, but its hard when often we are simply being played for a fool and taken advantage of.