Too Familiar...Where to draw the line

At what stage of a relationship does familiarity become too familiar? Is there a stage? Are there certain things that couples simply shouldn't share, or anyone for that matter?  Or should couples share everything? Everything? Really?

Where do you draw the line?  Is it a hard line or a soft line that changes over time and circumstances. for example, maybe it's o.k. to burp and fart at home but not in public.

When you first meet someone and hope to fall in love, the general consensus is that we are all on our best behavior.  We know that everyone has bodily functions that aren't so pretty, but we work really hard to control when they surface.  If you happen to fart on your first date, the likelihood is that you won't get a second date.  So what changes?

When does it become o.k. , dare I even say, expected and humorous, to let it all hang out?

I don't know when it happened, or even how, but it did......and there are moments I wish I could turn the clock back.

Flagellation, passing gas, farts,  whatever you name them..... they come freely now, and though most are tolerable, there are some that make me throw open the windows and doors even in 30 degree temperatures, just to breath fresh air. Is it so difficult to hold that urge until you make your way to another room or perhaps the bathroom, where it is most appropriate?  Funny? Sometimes! But not always. Retorts like "that's gonna itch when it drys" or 'you smelt it you dealt it" and the ever popular "silent but deadly", don't alleviate the rancid air pocket you've left behind. It's not to say, I don't experience the occasional uncontrollable urge to pass gas, but never in public and I still apologize for it when I do.

Burps and belches come much more freely, and are even at times turned into contests.  Who can burp the loudest? Who can produce the longest burp?  Burp volleyball....a game where you you challenge how many times you can pass it back and forth with out dropping the rhythm.  Yeah,  I live in a classy household, envy me if you must. What do you expect? I am raising two sons and Jeff. My acid reflux doesn't exactly preclude my participation on occasion. How did this become my life? I still think its important to maintain some semblance of control and decorum in public, but not even that holds for the men in my life. When they want to let it roll, they simply do, its out of my control.

Using the restroom, at least this one seems to have held some structure.  My oldest son would hold his need to go for days when he first started dating his girlfriend.  When she was around he would urinate, but nothing more.  He didn't want her to experience any odor he might leave behind. He has since gotten over that for which I'm sure his colon thanks him. Most couples eventually find it acceptable to pee in front of each other, but if there is a god, anything further will and should still remain a private matter.  The door is closed for a reason, please don't think it appropriate to walk in or to stand at the door and have a conversation with me while I complete my business.  Whatever the discussion, it can wait just a few minutes.  And while we are on the subject, there is NEVER a need for you to describe to me what you left behind.  Honestly, I don't need a play by play description. Please and Thank You. Also, the use of the fan, a match, or deodorizer would be greatly appreciated.

Other things you would never experience in a "New" relationship but they seem to become part and parcel as love sets in:

1. Zits, pimples, blackheads, boils - This is just gross. Why is it expected that simply because I love you I should be willing and available to help you pick or pop these? I promise NEVER to ask you to do this for me, so please don't ask me to do this for you.  There are some things that couples simply shouldn't share.
2. Ingrown hairs - sometimes found in inappropriate places. When I said I loved you, I never said I would help to tweeze that hair from your inner thigh or buttocks region. I get that your a man, and as such you grow hair in regions I would never allow. I understand that some activities like bicycle riding result in chafing and the evidenciary occasional ingrown hair. But how is this my job?  I promised to love you, not pluck the hairs from your butt cheeks. You managed this before me, so you can manage it now. You want me to pluck your eyebrows, no problem, but anything below the neck needs to be negotiated. 

There are of course the clipping of the toenails, the flossing of the teeth, the q-tip for the earwax, and many other things, that should always remain a persons private regimen.  Its perfectly o.k. to maintain a little mystery in a relationship.  Hide the evidence & take care of the ritual out of sight. I think couples should be open and honest with each other, but there are lines of familiarity that should remain drawn. Pretend you are still dating me, and hoping to make a good impression. It may be too late to reset the rules, but its never to late to ask for a change.

Pick one thing, and see if together you can rediscover the mystery.