Snelling, Grunts, and Giggles

This one is for all the women out there who love their men, but could really celebrate a good nights rest without all the snoring.

I love my Jeff.  He's a good man but sleeping next to a wind turbine could be more peaceful sometimes than sleeping next to him. Freight trains are more peaceful.  The man can snore, and depending how tired he is, does he have a cold, did he have a beer, or maybe he's just having a really solid nights sleep, his snoring is more like SNELLING.  Snelling is the art of taking the snoring to the audible decibel level of yelling.  Its as if he is snoring through a megaphone.  Snoring + Yelling = Snelling.

Yes my friends, Jeff can be a real SNELLER.

We have a deal in place. You see, first I try asking him to turn over.  Usually the Snore or Snell first becomes intolerable when it is directed three inches from my ear.  The 'Ask" usually receives a clear but civil grunt and the roll over occurs. Sometimes this is just enough to lower the sound long enough for me to fall asleep and all is well.

On occasion the "Ask" receives a GROWL , not so civil. But as he is asleep and usually unaware of his lack of social grace, I'll overlook it.  :) The roll over occurs, and again may or may not be sufficient...the tick tock of the clock and my patience and 2 a.m. will tell.

ON some nights, if the snoring is anticipated, many times I will prepare the couch for him, neatly draped with a clean sheet and blanket, before I go to bed. Our standing agreement states that if his snoring becomes intolerable and prevents me from sleep, I can ask him to sleep on the couch, and he will do so without issue, It is my responsibility to make the arrangements for him and he will restore the couch in the morning when he wakes up. Many times, I am committed to trying to suck it up and get through it, as it doesn't seem fair to send him to the couch every night, but there are those nights,  that no amount of patience or tolerance will suffice.

Last night, Jeff, who is getting a terrible cold and has developed a very nasty cough with it, offered outright to simply sleep on the couch. We made the couch up, gave each other a hug and kiss goodnight, he took his NyQuil and went to bed.

I tried not to... I truly did, but the devil on my shoulder gave a nasty beet down to the angel on the other shoulder with the new pitchfork he got at Christmas time in his stocking, and as I made way down the hallway, my little hands clapped and my mouth smiled at the idea of a peaceful nights rest in my big bed all alone. Cool sheets, pulled nice and straight and tight, no noise, no growls, just peaceful sleep with neatly tucked covers.

Its odd, because when I sleep alone, I could literally fold the covers back in the morning stand up, and fold the covers back up and the bed would be made, but when Jeff is in the bed, the covers are twisted, and jumbled, wadded and crumpled, and it looks like a cyclone ripped through our room as we slept?

I've come to the conclusion, that though I sleep more peacefully but shorter when Jeff is with me, sometimes it's ok to sleep alone, knowing he is near by, and to sleep more soundly but longer. The dreams are more weird when he's not there, and slightly more disturbing, but the sleep is uninterrupted.  I think an occasional night alone is not such a bad thing. :)

I love Jeff, And we are by no means heading down the path to I Love Lucy days, but........when snoring turns to snelling and there is no hope, its off to the couch he goes.