There Are Two Me's

I've come to recognize there are two me's.

According to the Myers Briggs evaluation test I am an ISTJ.  I am an introvert by nature and I use a great deal of logic and thought in my decision making processes and social interactions.  For the most part, I would agree with this assessment. At least on the surface and from a cold connection.  But my personality fluctuates according to my situation and external events. My professional life vs. my personal life.

In a crowd of unknowns, I am VERY much a wallflower, an introvert. I observe and evaluate and tend to gravitate towards only those people I am familiar with. The idea of public speaking spins me into a state of anxiety and panic. My heart races, I become short of breath and experience a cold sweat, and I lose focus. I find myself looking for every possible escape route and I prepare probable excuses for an early departure. My confidence is low and I simply want a way out.

I don't find myself in these situations often, because I work very hard to avoid them.

But as I said there are two me's.

Place me in a crowd of familiars, people I am comfortable and confident with, and I shine.  I become a vibrant and engaging extrovert.  I laugh and smile and flit from person to person making sure they are comfortable and happy, enjoying themselves. In a situation where I can control the populace, I become a different, more confident me. Its about feeling safe.

The fact is, every person has two faces. One is directed towards the outer world of activities, excitements, people, and things. The other is directed inward to the inner world of thoughts, interests, ideas, and imagination. While these are two different but complementary sides of our nature, most people have an strong preference towards energy from one or the other. Thus one of their faces, either the Extraverted (E) or Introverted (I), takes the lead and plays a more dominant role in their behavior. I am an (I). 

The Sensing (S) side of our brain notices the sights, sounds, smells and all the sensory details of the present. It categorizes, organizes, records and stores the specifics from the here and now. It is reality based.  The Intuitive (N) side of our brain seeks to understand, interpret and form overall patterns of all the information that is collected and records them. It speculates on possibilities and scenarios, including looking into and forecasting future outcomes and events. It is imaginative and conceptual. While both kinds of perceiving are necessary and used by all people, each of us instinctively tends to favor one over the other. I am an (S).

The Thinking (T) side of our brain analyzes information objectively. It operates from factual principles, deduces and forms conclusions systematically. It is our logical nature. The Feeling (F) side of our brain forms conclusions in a somewhat global manner, based on likes/dislikes, impact on others, and human and aesthetic values. It is our subjective nature. While everyone uses both means of forming conclusions, each person has a natural bias towards one over the other so that when they give us conflicting directions - one side is the natural trump card or tiebreaker. I am a (T)

All people use both judging (thinking and feeling) and perceiving (sensing and intuition) processes to store information, organize our thoughts, make decisions, take actions and manage our lives. Yet one of these processes (Judging or Perceiving) tends to be more predominant in our relationship with the outside world . . . while the other governs our inner world. A Judging (J) style approaches the outside world with a plan and is oriented towards organizing one's surroundings, being prepared, making decisions and reaching closure and completion. A Perceiving (P) style takes the outside world as it comes and is adopting and adapting, flexible, open-ended and receptive to new opportunities and changing game plans. I am a (J)

I understand that I must always adapt and explore those elements of my personality that are weaker, and not as natural to me. I practice opening myself up to the opposite of what my inclinations are, on occasion.

I respect who I am and appreciate the differences in others, and I challenge myself to always stretch a little further than my comfort zone would have me.

Given the definitions of Myers Briggs, what are you?  Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Sensitive or Intuitive? Thinking or Feeling? Judging or Perceiving?

Whatever you are, I say don't let anyone define you. The best way to be great, is to reach, recognize the two faces of  you, climb outside of your box and explore the unknown and unfamiliar world around you.