Streetwalking in 5 inch heels....Where are your parents?

This weekend was my 16 year old sons Winter Formal.  He doesn't usually go in for the whole dance thing, but he does like to be social so this was actually kinda cool.  He asked a very good female friend to accompany him and since it was all about friendship, many of the pressures were alleviated.

I experienced a bit of sticker shock, at the costs for such a simple occasion.  He didn't have any "Dress" clothes to speak of so we bought new Shoes, Slacks, a Shirt, and a Tie...$184. The tickets were $30. Flowers and a bear for the invitation $18.50. Corsage and Boutonniere $45. Dinner before the Dance $42. Haircut $14. Pictures $43.Transportation back and forth...incidental.  Total price $376.50 for a simple dance. But the memories he created were priceless.  I'm not complaining, it's money well spent! It is however eye opening in the context of the financial cost of raising children.  This was just one occasion.  How many hundreds of occasions do we see them through on the road to adulthood?

In the end both my son and his date looked spectacular. They were classy yet stylish, and they looked great together.  They had a great time and that was the goal of the whole experience.

Unfortunately modesty and grace were not the universal theme of the dance. It's true, there were some very well dressed and beautiful couples. There were girls draped in luxurious dresses of silk and lace and chiffon that were stunning. There were young men, in everything from casual slacks to tuxedos looking their very best.  But there were also, unfortunately, those who were a little too adult, a little too provocative, and little more brazen than what should be considered appropriate at any age unless your vocation is that of escort.

I consider myself to be a fairly cool mom. Open to the trends and styles and interest of this generation. But, the truth is, that modesty never goes out of style no matter what generation you are a part of.  A little mystery goes a long way, and beauty is not about how much skin you can show. I would go further to say, that I am grateful to have sons, but even more grateful, that my sons are drawn to those girls with class and a sense of modesty.  Where are the dress codes that were part and parcel of our generation when attending school functions? I'm not saying break out the ruler, but there should be some general guidelines. A virtual free for all, come as you are, is only asking for bad behavior.

Being judgmental is not something I support, but I find myself perplexed as to the parenting choices of others sometimes. How do you purchase a dress for a 16 year old that barely covers their nether regions and fits so tight that you can count the ribs and spinal vertebrae? Where is the parental guidance that says, here is how to dress and act like a lady? Dressing like the Guidettes from Jersey Shore and letting it all hang out, only serves to bring trouble. We wonder why shows like 16 and pregnant are so popular amongst this generation.Well, without pointing fingers, a large part of the problem is in the parenting. Its o.k. to say no to our teens. It's part of the job and actually garners a lot more respect than the passive approach of letting them run full speed down a path that will only end badly. If the dress your daughter is wearing rides up to show her undergarments while she is simply standing still or walking across the room, how much further do you suspect it will ride up when she is gyrating on the dance floor? Probably not the picture you want of your 16 year old daughter? The lines between tasteful and tacky are not that thin.

While I'm on the subject, the dance was over at 11:00 p.m. It was a chilly 32 degrees outside and as I made my way to the school, being deemed the official chauffeur for the evening, I noticed MANY young women walking home, in their skimpy dresses and 5 inch heels making their way up the streets. Some were alone, some were with other girls, some were with their dates, but too many were walking home in the middle of the night. As a parent, I found it quite distressing to see. In today's society no neighborhood is safe, and no young woman should be walking ANYWHERE alone at 11:00 p.m.. If as a parent you are too drunk or busy or uninterested to provide your child a ride home, then arrange for one or give them taxi money! When you fail to protect your child and something bad happens, you act shocked? Open your eyes and be a parent before its too late.

Alright, having said all of this and voiced my opinion of the parenting failures I observed, I will acknowledge that I think its important for this generation just as it was for yesterdays generation and tomorrows to come, to experience being kids. Participate and engage in your high school social gatherings. Make memories. Build and nurture friendships. Adulthood comes soon enough with all its responsibility and pressure, take the time to enjoy being young, being free, and being happy.