Dinner at 5:00

Growing up, I was 1 of 6 children, 5th in the line and baby girl. We were poor and I always knew this, but we maintained a very traditional way of life.

We lived in a track house, in what today would be considered HUD housing. My mother was a stay at home mom (until I was in high school). My father was the breadwinner and often did side jobs to supplement his $30,000/yr income. We went to church every Sunday and attended midweek sessions. We rode the bus to school every day and carried brown bag lunches or lunch pails with our books to school each day. We didn't use backpacks then. We had a single teacher, no changing classrooms and most of our supplies stayed in our desk at school. We only brought home the books we needed for homework and there  was homework, nearly every night in one subject or another.  We made book covers each school year from the brown paper bags we got from the grocery store.

I don't remember rather or not my siblings attended summer camp, but I did each summer for 1-2 weeks. I also spent 1-2 weeks each summer with my grandparents on my dads side. Though again, I don't recall my older siblings being there or doing this. I always looked forward to it because it was the only time of the year besides the very rare and occasional family gathering, that I would get to spend time with my cousins Kit and Kim, or see my cousins Troy or Brian. Troy had an older sister Charlene, but she was pretty much already and adult and I only have a few memories of her. We spent the occasional weekend with my grandparent on my mothers side when my parents went somewhere together. The girls slept on Grandmas bedroom floor, while the boys slept in the living room. Grandma was up at the crack of dawn every day baking fresh biscuits to go with our cereal for breakfast.

We lived a very middle of the road traditional life, struggling to make ends meet and wearing hand me downs from cousins, and aunts and uncles, but we were a family. My mother cleaned the house and supervised the children and did the laundry and hung it on the clothes line to dry in the breeze. We only used the dryer in the winter months when it rain or snowed. Mom took charge of the weekly grocery shopping and paying the bills, but most importantly, she cooked our meals, every day! No microwave, just good old fashioned, stove top or crock pot cooking.

Every night, my father worked until 4:30 and was home in time for Dinner at 5:00. Mom always had a well balanced meal ready that represented all five food groups. And we sat down as a family to eat. We passed the potatoes and ate our peas and carrots, and we did it at the table together. Sometimes we had roast, sometimes we had stew or pinto beans with ham hocks and cornbread. We always had a vegetable, meat, and bread, and we always cleaned our plates. As siblings got older and moved out the large dining room table sat empty unless they came to visit, and we adjourned to the smaller table in the kitchen area, but we still sat together every night.

When Dinner was over, we each took our turns at clearing the table and washing and drying the dishes. There were no dishwashers, that's what kids were for.

We had set times for bed, set times for homework, set times for play, set times for bathing, and set times for family meals. But we could count on "family" time at least once a day.

I've tried this at home in raising my sons. And we accomplish it occasionally. But dinner these days usually fluctuates a little later, between 7:00 and 8:00, giving me time for my commute home from work and time to cook. Our meals are sometimes based on the quick and easy, though weekends are always more traditionally rounded.  We sit together a few times a week, but more often its buffet style and every man for himself. Sometimes we are in the same room and sometimes the plates are gathered from the four corners of the earth/house.  I offer all the elements of a well balanced meal, but I don't force them, and you eat only until your full and then clean your plate in the compost, rinse it, and put it in the dishwasher machine.

I miss tradition sometimes, but life is full and active, and on the run, and challenging, and I appreciate those rare family moments that we share 1000 fold more, because they are fleeting. What as a child seemed mundane and burdensome, is now quaint and cherished.

Dinner at 5:00 may not be sustainable, but I think I could make a weekly Dinner at 7:00 work.