I think its important to be flexible in some areas when parenting, but its also necessary to have a set list of constants. Guidelines you can count on to get you through each days challenges and to begin the next.
Parenting is never easy, it shouldn't be. It is one of the most important roles you will ever tackle in your life, and it should be tough and gritty but come with great rewards and moments of jubilation.
Bedtimes are also important for the parents. Rather your single or married, or in a civil union, you need your downtime too. Time to recharge and collect your thoughts. To be planful in your choices and actions. If you are always making decisions under stress and in the rush and distraction of parenting, then you are functioning in a reactive mode. Bedtimes are critical for children because it allows you time to think calmly and schedule life proactively.
Some children will relish their sleep and respect and even embrace bedtime, and others will fight it their entire lives. The key is consistency and commitment. Don't give in. Stay strong and stand your ground. It will pay off in the end.
I had a bedtime as a child, and my children had bedtimes too. My Brandon is an adult (as he reminds me daily) , and makes his own bedtime, but I still recommend strongly when I see him compromising his health and responsibilities for those midnight and early hour activities of mental engagement (frequently video games). Wyatt is still 16 and therefore still subject to parenting, so he maintains a bedtime on school nights. I am a little more giving on Weekends and Holiday/Vacations.
Bedtimes are important, not just for children but for adults too. Don't be squishy, make them reliable, you children will eventually appreciate and respect you for it, and you will see them pass it on to the next generation.
With my first child as a teenage mother, I didn't understand this concept. By my 4th kid? Everyone was in bed by 9 no matter what! : )
ReplyDeleteLove IT!!!!
DeleteI don't think I even had a bedtime for my kids, as I didn't have one growing up either. For me, my mom would say it is getting late and you have to get up for school, so you should get to bed. It would depend on the tv shows too, as that was all new to us. By time I was in Jr High and High school, it was up to us to get to bed or you were very tired in the morning. I think we learned on our own when to go to bed and when to get up. We usually took a bath at night time because with 10 people in the family and only one bathroom, you learned to do that at night. So we would get up as late as possible in the morning. Than walk to school a few miles..lol
ReplyDeleteMy grandkids love sleeping at this Grandma's house because I let them stay up as late as they want to...Cartoons and cheetos at midnight, no problem..haha
No Bedtime? I see, it was bedlam and chaos in the Kent household. I'm sure Jennifer's kids love being at grandmas, it makes them feel like rebels. Midnight and Cheetos instead of 9:00 bed. Total anarchy. :) LOl
DeleteWe have a set bedtime for my 3-year old, and every night he tries to push the boundary. He was so "smart" one night when we told him it was time for bed; he said, "the clock doesn’t say that." Why I oughtta....
ReplyDeleteSo we got a Tot Clock, that changes colors depending on what activity is being done. Nap time, free play, time outs, bed time, and wake time. It also plays music or reads a story, neither of which he likes. His clock is set to turn dark blue at 7:30 when it’s time to get in bed. That was slowly pushed, as now it’s the time we start getting ready for bed (potty/brushing teeth). He also has a set wake up time of 6:30 or something, but he is always awake before then.
He is the master procrastinator at going to bed. He needs to go the bathroom again (can’t argue about), needs to give mom or dad another hug (can’t argue about), needs to give baby brother another hug (can’t argue about), need another drink of water (usually a no), or some other random thing which allows him to get out of bed and look around to see what the rest of us are doing. He really needs his 8 hours of sleep plus his nap, or he turns into a monster. That's not like his mom at all.
Olrek has pretty much set his own bed time schedule, in bed by 8:30, up at 1:30, and then again at 4:30 or so. But he is only 12 weeks old and I’m sure it will fluctuate as time goes on. I prefer structure for myself too, even when I don’t have to be on a pumping schedule.
Why I oughtta...indeed. If your boys are anything like mine, your in for some well thought out negotiations, and outright rebellion. Sneaky feet wandering the halls when they think your not looking and whispers and giggle which aren't as quiet as they hope they were. Worth every second. Just don't let them see that your actually amused when your supposed to be firm and stern, they run with that.
DeleteWe already have issues with laughing or giggling when we are support to be serious. He smiles and it's all over with. I'll take two boys, over any amount of girls. I find that boys are easier to negotiate with over girls and the outright boy rebellion cant be nearly as bad as the outright girl rebellion ive heard of, and did myself.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't trade my boys for all the tea in china (whatever that means....) Daughters would be terrifying. I actually love the negotiating. They come up with some pretty logical arguments which usually end in me saying just do it because I'm the parent and I told you so. Its so funny, I lose all credibility when I'm supposed to be angry and they make me laugh.
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