The Art of Euphemisims - A Kinder Way to be Unkind

So today, just like every Tuesday, I was having lunch with some friends, and the topic led us to something someone had done, or not done as was actually the case, that was really stupid.  Never one to miss an opportunity to banter about  a few euphemisms, I threw a few of these out and realized there is a veritable never ending well of these if you really put your mind to it.

These are just a few that scratch the surface to describe that bozo that is always making the dumbest decisions you know:

• Dumber than a Box of Rocks
• 2 Sandwiches Shy of  a Picnic Basket
• Not the Sharpest Tool in the Shed
• Not the Brightest Star in the Sky
• A Few Fries Short of a Happy Meal
• Proof that Evolution Can go in Reverse
• The Cheese Slid off His Cracker
• A Few Cards Short of a Deck
• A Few Colors Short of a Rainbow
• A shining example of why you should avoid inbreeding
• About as sharp as a bowling ball
• A poster child for birth control
• A few Bradys short of a bunch
• A few sheep short of a flock
• Too much yardage between his goal posts
• He's about as smart as Fish Bait
• A few screws short of a Hardware Store

There are euphemisms for virtually every situation; pooping, death, boobs, passing gas (a euphemism itself for flatulation). You might 'cut the cheese' or 'buy the farm', be 'pushing up daisies' or "making a deposit in the porcelain bank". Rather you are 'madder than a wet hen', 'happy as a pig in slop', 'please as punch', or 'uglier than a mud fence', you are a walking euphemism at some time and I guarantee you will use at least one sometime today! Remember 'a watched never boils' and 'a bird in the hand is worth two in a bush'.

However you say it, humor seems to soften the blow and bring a smile in the right situation.  Its not always appropriate, but it can be kinder than just outright calling someone an idiot, however deserving they may be.