Religion - Seeking Enlightenment

I was having lunch with a friend the other day and we started discussing religion.  I don't know exactly how we got on the topic, but we did, and the discussion was invigorating and thought provoking.   To begin with let me say that though I spent most of my childhood and subsequent early adult years actively engaged in organized religion and seeking both answers and direction, I am not now an active participant in any ideology.  It's not that I don't appreciate or value the concepts behind the various institutions, I do in fact subscribe to the existence of God, for me the "Devil" as you might say, is in the details.

Before I go any further, let me state a disclaimer.  This blog is not intended to offend or diminish in any way other people or their faith.  Many of my friends and family are devout in their religion and I respect and appreciate that.  I believe that it is a VERY personal issue for each of us, and my feelings or views are shaped and influenced by my own personal experiences, and could never be duplicated by someone else.   If you are sensitive or passionate about your faith please know I have intense respect for everyones view point and I hope that you can respect mine as well even if you disagree.

In my late teens I lost a good friend to suicide.  At the time of Maureen's death, she was distraught, depressed and not in her right state of mind.  She was by all measures and means a good person. She was popular at school, she was kind, she attended church, and she had hopes and dreams for her future.  Unfortunately, the pressure she placed on herself for perfection and a tragic error in judgement, led her to a point where she believed in that moment that she had no choices left, that her dreams were over, and she ended her life.  She was young and foolish and unable to understand the impact and consequences of her momentary rash decision. Maureen lingered on the brink of life and death for nearly 12 hours before passing, and in that 12 hours I like to think she realized her mistake and even though she was unconscious and unable to iterate it aloud, I hold in my heart the faith that she asked heavenly father for forgiveness and understanding and expressed repentance for her actions.  Maureen was a beautiful young woman, who made a critical mistake.

Most religions condemn the purveyor of suicide to an eternity in hell, equating the act with that of murder.  However, even murderers confined in their small 10x10 cells in our overcrowded prison system, are lauded as having found Christ, found forgiveness, found Christianity and repentance. So if its possible for a murderer, someone who takes the life of another in anger, or greed, or depraved lust, or in the name of seeking power, to be forgiven, then is it not feasible that forgiveness be given to the suicide victim, who acted in broken spirit, in a weak moment of hopelessness and heartbreak?

As a result of the outright condemnation of Maureen and the lack of faith that her eternity could still hold peace, I sought answers elsewhere, I began to lose faith in the teachings of the church and the men who claimed to be conduits for god.  I studied various religions theologies. Read their doctrines and covenants. I spoke with leaders in various churches and ask questions about origins, and spiritual guidance, and what happens in the afterlife. What about the in-between, between now and resurrection.

What I found was interesting,  There are commonalities in all religions,  just as there are disparities.  Each religion has pieces and parts that make sense, and some that have no factual basis.  There are common threads that tie each religion to various others, but non share the exact identical ties or threads, each religion has something unique and proprietary to its doctrine.  Christianity is a broad based term.  It simply infers that you believe in Christ.  This encompasses many religions including Catholicism and its various derivatives, Mormonism, Protestant which includes the Baptist, Lutheran, Adventist, and Pentecostals,  to name a few.  Rather he is God, Allah, Buddha, Jehovah, Brahman, Yahweh, or any other of the 900 plus names found for him across the globe, he is a higher power, a creator, the beginning. We seek religion because something inside us is wired to need answers.  We want answers about where we come from, where do we go after we die, what is our purpose, are we alone. We seek solace and comfort when we are in peril either emotionally or physically.  We seek hope. We seek validation.

What I found in all my soul searching years ago and realized in my discussion with my dear friend just the other day, is that it's a unique recipe for each of us.  There is no "One-Size-Fits-All" solution. To assume so is an exercise in futility.   We are introduced to religion as children but its not really a conscious choice until we are adults. We settle on a religion because at any given point and time in our lives it suits our purpose. It best answers and addresses our concerns and makes the most sense...for now. We find bits and pieces that make us stand up and shout "Eureka". Sometimes we feel indebted to it for getting us through a tough time or low point, and sometimes we throw the proverbial crutch away when the leg is no longer broken.  We always know it will be there if and when we need it just as it has been since the beginning of man and will be to the end.  Sometimes we commit ourselves to making organized religion a part of our daily lives, and sometimes we are not seeking so much the institution but spiritual enlightenment.  An epiphany of sorts that helps us to accept our place in the world and to face each day on faith and with courage, even without knowing what tomorrow holds.

I know whats in my heart, I have a very firm and deeply rooted set of core beliefs, but my spirituality, just like my finger print and my DNA is very personal and specific to me. Its not for public scrutiny.

In the end, I believe I will be judged by the life I led. By the purity of my heart and my intentions in life. I believe I will be judged by how I treated others and did I do my best to live an ethical and moral life. I don't believe I will be judged on rather or not I chose to spend my time in a man made building surrounded by others seeking restitution one day a week for the choices they make the other 6 days.  I don't believe in the business of religion and giving my money to yet another greedy and corrupt, hypocritical organization run by men who stuff their pockets and live in mansions and claim their success is the result of blessings bestowed on them by heavenly father.

I don't agree with any organization that promotes hate and rejection of others based on their creed, color or sexual orientation. I watched a documentary last night on the aggressive and deceptive tactics used by the church to influence the outcome of Proposition 8 in California and I was deeply disturbed by the air of entitlement in the church and its inclination to pass judgement.  Right or wrong, rather you agree with gay rights or not, no human being should be subjected to hate and the intolerance that the church demonstrated towards the gay community.  I question any human being who stands on a pedestal and demeans and rejects another simply because they are different or follow an alternate system of faith.

 As long as I follow the basics, respect and love others, be honest and true, and be fair in my dealings everyday; as long as I do my very best to be a good person and raise my children to be the most moral and ethical they can be, I've done well and I'm confident of what lies ahead in this life and the next. My children may not be god fearing, but they are true and genuine. They are loving and kind and compassionate. They have a strong core understanding of right and wrong and they are making the correct choices. 

Judge not lest ye be judged.

Merry meet and Merry part and Meet Again, Blessed be.